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Do You Love or Hate Your Children? Spanking (Part 5)

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Faith's Firm Foundation: Do You Love or Hate Your Children? Spanking (Part 5)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Do You Love or Hate Your Children? Spanking (Part 5)

"He that spareth his rod
hateth his son:
but he that loveth him
chasteneth him quickly (early in life)."
Proverbs 13:24

If you are visiting for the first time, or for more on this subject, I recommend you read the other posts in this series.  (Just click on the links.)
Spanking (Part 1)
Spanking (Part 2): Child-Training Advice from An Older Woman
Spanking (Part 3) 

What Is A Rod?
Some definitions are in order.  The rod in Proverbs 13:24 literally means a stick. And hateth means "a foe, enemy, to be hateful."  To spare means "to refrain, restrain, to forbear, hinder, keep from, or hold back."

So, with these definitions in place, this verse tells us that if a parent refrains from spanking their children, or keeps their spouse from doing it, hindering the appropriate and Biblical application of the rod, fearful of inflicting pain on their "precious child"...then they are actually demonstrating (according to the Bible) that they hate their child.

We are so easily deceived by the world, and often we deceive ourselves. I'm sorry.  Withholding the rod is not showing love--we are actually showing that we hate our children if we do this.  We are actually disobeying God. These are hard words, but only because we have been deceived by Satan, through believing the world's lies.

Hollering, Wailing and Screaming Are Acts Of Rebellion
I shared with you in an earlier post in this series (Spanking, Part 4) that my daughter exhibited her rebellion by crying at the top of her lungs when faced with discipline.  Children do not have to make noise when they cry.  All of us learned how to cry softly.  A child’s crying loudly (hollering, wailing, yelling as though they're being murdered) when disciplined is a sign of rebellion.

If they're doing this it shows that their heart has not repented of sin.  They are not receiving the correction that they know they deserve, but rather they are hating the reproof.

"Correction is grievous
unto him that forsaketh the way:
and he that hateth reproof
shall die."
Proverbs 15:10
Temper Tantrums
This is kind of another whole subject, but in a public situation, they have learned that throwing a loud fit works to get their way.  They want attention, or to get away, or at some point in the past they got what they wanted, whatever it was--maybe just once--by throwing a fit.  They will keep on trying this tactic if they have even the slightest hope it will work.  They must NEVER WIN at this game.  Ever.

In this particular post I am mostly talking about situations where you are in your own home, and the child has committed a serious enough offense that they needed to be taken to their room for private chastisement.  If they are screaming or wailing, let them know that they will get additional and harder chastisement if they are not quiet. Do not end your time with them until they are humble and quiet.

Anger Doesn't Work God's Righteousness
Remain calm.  This is, of course, the hardest part, especially if you have a child fighting you and screaming and crying.  This is not a wrestling match.  (I hope to deal with this issue in a later post.  It's a hard one, I know.)  You must not administer the rod in anger.  If your child knows they can get you angry, or they can get out of a spanking by getting you emotional, they will do it every time.  If you're a crier like me, let me say that your tears are not necessarily a bad thing.  It may show your child your true grief over their sin.  But, it must be genuine grief.

You Are In A Spiritual Battle
Please remember that you are in a spiritual battle, and don't enter into it without first binding the enemy.  Ask God to bind and rebuke Satan and all his spirits, in the Name of Jesus Christ and by the power of His shed blood, death and resurrection.  There are times that you're going to have strong emotions, and even though it's not easy, you still have to administer the rod.  Don't assume that the fact that you feel strongly or you are crying means you should not spank them.  Ask God for help, get yourself under control, and do what you need to do.

If necessary, take a 10-minute time out, tell your child to wait in their room and be quiet, and that you will come back in 10 minutes.  Then, go to your room and get on your knees and cry out to the Lord.  I guarantee He will answer.

"Apply thine heart unto instruction,
and thine ears to the words of knowledge.
Withhold not correction from the child:
for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Thou shalt beat him with the rod,
and shalt deliver his soul from hell."
Proverbs 23:12-15
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Blogger Rightthinker-Andrea said...

This series, as I mentioned before, is such a blessing! Your biblical foundation in this particular portion of parenting is SO rare. I'm not sure you are aware of just how the lies of Satan permeate "Christian parenting" today. Perhaps you are aware..but either way, it is such a struggle to even have any Christian friendsbecause so many are raising their children in manners that are counter to God's Word..therefore, getting together for dinner is awkward when their children are little hellions for the sake of a more "gentle" parenting method.

I've written a lot about parenting and discipline. Here is a post about this very subject:

You also mentioned temper tantrums. Ugh! In a world that teaches that you can either ignore the tantrum, or "gently love them through that", we completely leave out the responsibility of parents to teach their children to behave appropriately in public! Nearly everytime we go into public, our time together (either me grocery shopping or us out as a family) is is hampered by someone allowing their child to have fits.

Our children are not perfect, but they all have been taught (yes, even our 2 year old knows what is expected, and the 9 month old is learning) how to behave in public..we will not ruin time out together, or infringe on the time of anyone else, with our selfish, rude and irresponsible behavior.

Anyway, I wanted to say thank you again for the fellowship and is a rare gem today.

God Bless you much, and keep the posts coming. If you ever would appreciate a guest post on any topic (not that you need one, but I see a lot of blogs doing this) I'd love to be a part if you'd have me.

June 14, 2011 at 10:05 AM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Thank you, Andrea.
I'm thankful and encouraged by your comments. It's a great encouragement to hear from young moms like you!

It has always been, and always will be, a challenge to raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, because of the spiritual battle and their fallen-ness. Children are born "silly fools," a wise woman used to say. We have to train them to be otherwise.

The ways of the world are so pervasive, and it is sad indeed that Christians have bought into so many of their lies.

Thank you for sharing your heart to raise your children for the Lord, and for your offer of a guest post! I accept guest posts on occasion, carefully. Let me pray and think about when and how that would work best, and you do the same, and then let's talk again. I will definitely read the post that you mentioned.

Thanks again for the encouragement you bring of a heart that is open to teaching from an older woman. It blesses me a lot.

Remember that you are an example to others for truly desiring to do God's will and obey His Word in your child-training, by God's grace and with His help. It matters and is making an eternal difference--keep humble and keep it up!

June 14, 2011 at 10:24 AM  
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