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Faith's Firm Foundation: Can You Guess Our Love Languages?

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Can You Guess Our Love Languages?

I'm home today with a cold, so this is a little late.  I'm pondering the power of love languages this day after Valentine's Day.  I kind of hit the jackpot without trying and I'm still shaking my head over it.  For Valentine's Day, I made my husband and son a nice dinner (our daughter was gone for the evening).  We had Raspberry Chicken, Long Grain and Wild Rice, a spinach/broccoli and carrot medley, bread sticks (which my daughter had made) and Chocolate Coconut Candies (my husband loves coconut).  (Come back for Food Friday to see the recipes.) Later in the evening I cut my husband's hair for him, and this morning I ironed a few shirts for him before he left for work.  I know you're thinking, "How romantic! Not."  But, he melted.  Now, you could do the same things (including ironing my clothes for me) and I definitely would not melt!  However, I still remember the first time my husband held hands with me.  And I've also kept all his love notes and letters.  Can you guess my hubby's and my love languages?

The days of chivalry may be dead, but it's easy to understand why a fair maiden swooned when her hero came to her rescue.  Imagine a dashing young man spreading his coat on the ground to help a young lady pass over a muddy puddle with her long skirts. Offering her his strong arm, he places his hand on hers and gazes into her eyes with rapt attention.  Gallantly he helps her across to dry ground.  Safely on the other side, he quickly stops a passing vendor and presents a lovely flower to fair maiden, and as they part, he kisses her gloved hand with a bow, expressing his wish that they might meet again!  Mr. Gallant can't miss!  He is assured to have communicated love by his actions, for he has spoken every love language:  Serving her while helping her cross over the mud, expressing words of encouragement and affirmation in wanting to see her again, gift-giving with the flower, physical touch by wrapping her arm around his and kissing her hand, and "quality" time by his rapt attention and meeting her eyes!

We can innocently speak love to someone of the opposite sex without meaning to, because we not only receive love through that language, but speak it fluently.  It's our first course of action, quite natural for us--second nature, you might say.  As women, we need to remember to point ourselves towards our husbands and families when we speak love.  But, we need to speak their language.  This may not be second nature to us.  Women who feel unappreciated and unloved at home, but fulfilled, valued, loved, and affirmed outside the home might find this reversed if they spent more time seeking to speak the love languages of those in their home.  

Remembering that we are powerfully impacted with a feeling of being loved when someone else speaks our love language will help steer us away from speaking love and hearing love from the wrong people, which may avoid many temptations, but will also reveal ways to strengthen the bond of love in our marriages and homes. 
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Blogger Denise said...

So sweet.

February 15, 2011 at 4:54 PM  
Blogger Child of God said...

Nice post and a very good warning especially for women or young ladies. Most girls, I think, don't realize the signals they give off. I know I didn't realize until just a few years ago after my husband and I sat down and really had a heart to heart. He told me I am doing things that I really shouldn't be since I am a married women and I told him they were just natural and I didn't realize I had control over. When I realized the body language I was sending off I really smartened up!

I think maybe now a days girls do realize these signals as they are not as naive as I was. I had a great talk with my daughter today and I hope she can understand this better than I ever did.

Great post thanks!

February 15, 2011 at 7:41 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Child of God,
I KNOW I didn't realize how my actions and words affected men, or what signals I was sending when I was younger. I have come to think of that as a kind of "unfaithfulness" to my husband.

There's a really fine line to walk in our behavior with men, and I want to err on this side--the safe side.

A woman should not want EVER to give to another what rightfully belongs to her husband--present or future. Though it's possible to naively do it without knowing--I don't think this happens often--if responded to, a woman knows it! Flirting and playing "games" with men, using them for your own fun or purposes--that's the kind of behavior which cheapens a woman, pulls down her marriage or makes her future marriage weakened from the start, if she's not married yet.

So cool to hear you had a great talk with your daughter today! You are so right, as a mom, to do that. Though I don't know how old she is, I think that talking to our girls can really make a difference in how they treat men in general, and what kind of marriage they will have someday in the future.

I have purposely talked in generalities, but there are a lot of ways a woman or girl "sends signals" and we all know what we're talking about.
Thanks so much for your additional comments; great insights!

February 15, 2011 at 11:23 PM  
Blogger Child of God said...

Hi Wendy,
My daughter is 18 but she really wasn't ready for this talk until now as I have always homeschooled her and she really has been very innocent and still is. I believe that we, as mothers, should give our girls the 'talk' otherwise they will learn it from somone else's point of view. I want my daughter to be grounded in the Bible and right now she is really starting to flutter her wings so she needs to know. I did talk to her about marriage in general when she was 13 but we have been going to deatail as of late. :s I have been using the woman of Proverbs and we are coming to an agreement on courting.


February 16, 2011 at 11:13 AM  

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