Love and Marriage: For Better, For Worse, In Sickness and In Health: Ken and Joni Tada

Reading Joni's posts during her battle with cancer is an inspiration.  (Please continue to pray for Ken and Joni Tada for wisdom in the decisions they need to make about future radiation and drug treatments now that her chemotherapy is done.)   I appreciate her "realness" and marvel at her ability to, in a few brief words, convey just enough of her pain, to make you appreciate her praise.  She always turns your eyes to Jesus.  This makes me think of the hymn we sang in our Home Church service this week, "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus."  I heard the words anew:

O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There's light for a look at the Saviour,
And life more abundant and free!


Thro' death into life everlasting He passed,

and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion--
For more than conqu'rors we are!


His word shall not fail you--He Promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well;
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

and the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

in the light of His glory and grace.

Quoting Joni (from her Oct. 1 post), "It’s amazing how often I’ve tried to find 'meaning' in tough times (like the one I’m going through). I’ve got to keep reminding myself that suffering has no meaning in itself. Left to its own, it is a frustrating and bewildering burden. But given the context of relationship, suffering suddenly has meaning..."


I can totally relate.  I'm always trying to find meaning in trials, when God is trying to draw me into a deeper relationship with Himself.  That is the true meaning in everything.  I want to find the Lesson, He showers me with His Love.


Quoting Joni again, "He's interested in 'going deep' with us, especially when we’re suffering. My cancer has shown me that I want to know a God like this! Shove me under the waterfall of his joy, splashing and spilling over heaven's walls, because if he's always in a good mood, I want to catch it. If I'm lost, I want him to find me. Part the heavens, Lord, come down, and embrace me. It’s then when my suffering makes sense. Complete sense."


Listening to Ken and Joni share (on Dr. Dobson's Family Talk from Nov. 5, 2010), of "splashes of heaven" they've experienced in the "intimate moments" involved in sacrificial love during her battle with cancer and all its inelegant needs, I wept.  I remember the sacrificial love of my husband when I had cancer.  When I was not able, physically or emotionally, to take care of cleansing my own wound and applying the dressing twice a day, he said, "I will."  When Ken and Joni talked, it touched a deep chord in me.  The love they've shared is a love which displays itself in continuing acts by two people of kindness, love and sacrifice.  These are the courageous and intimate moments which bind a couple together, and say, "I do," again and again and again.  It is a romantic love story written in trial and pain.


This is God's Love.  No credit goes to human beings.  It is supernatural.  Empowered by the Holy Spirit.  God is RELATIONAL.  With a capital R.  He is so Personal.  He draws us continually, through every joy and sorrow, every pain and perseverance, to Himself.  There is no meaning in suffering, but complete sense in loving Him.

Saying Goodbye To A Dear Friend (Part 1): Manage It (Victorious in Christ) Monday

The De Hoyos and Gunn Families in Mexico 2007

A week ago today, Monday morning at 6:00 a.m., the Lord took our dear friend, Cristina, by the hand and ushered her into His presence as she took the final step through the door into heaven.  I got a call from our friend Mark Tiemann a few hours later. This started a whirlwind of activity which resulted in Kelsey and I flying with Mark, Lynn and Linnea Tiemann to Mexico (click on link to see photos from the trip) for 3 days last week to attend the funeral and be there for the family.


We had been anticipating the call.  Her battle with cancer, which began with breast cancer, had in the last year spread to other parts of her body.  Her husband, Alfredo, sadly but poetically described her nearness to death in a recent email:

"We have walked in the path of righteousness for so long now, that God’s home is closer than our own. 16 years ago we knew that his home was on the other side of the hill, 5 years ago we could see the lights from a distance, a year ago we found the town, 6 months ago we found the street, 2 months ago we were only some  blocks away, and today I can say we are only a couple of doors away. I’m thankful that God has allowed me to walk my own wife to His door."

She suffered so much at the end.  Her family (especially Alfredo and their daughter Zelina), gave everything to care for her in their home.  For awhile, an electric wheelchair made it possible for her to get around the house.  Then she needed to be lifted from bed. The last week of her life, she required care pretty much twenty four hours a day. She had slipped into a coma and was delirious at times. Now, there are no more tears, there's no more pain, and she has the joy indescribable of being in the continual presence of Jesus.

A Picture of Faithfulness

Cristina De Hoyos Villareal was the most faithful follower of Christ I think I have ever known.  The gift and honor of having known her, and of calling her my friend, is priceless.  You didn't "meet" Cristina and then go on your way.  Everyone who met her was impacted by her life. She was a powerhouse in a small package.  Her flashing black eyes, ringing laughter and beautiful smile were instruments in the orchestra of her personality, making beautiful music. She sparkled.  She was funny, she was a firecracker, she was gentle.  Cristina was so warm, so open, so loving.  And she challenged you.  Wherever you were in your relationship with the Lord, she challenged you by word and example to go further, and deeper.  First of all, she challenged you to be saved and give yourself to the Lord Jesus Christ who died for you.  If you were saved, she challenged you to be more committed, more surrendered, share with more people the gospel and give more of yourself.  She gave all.  She held absolutely nothing back.  She was so real.

Cristina was so alive.  I cannot think of her as "gone" or "dead" because she is so vividly alive still.  Praise the Lord, she is alive in heaven because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ--His death and resurrection; because He lives, we too can live!  She is more alive than ever before, and those of us who have trusted in Christ will see her again!  I look forward to seeing your smile and hearing your laugh, Cristina! And never having to say Goodbye again! Hallelujah!

Saying Goodbye To A Dear Friend (Photos from the Trip): Manage It (Victorious in Christ) Monday

When we found out that Cristina had passed away, I called Jerry right away.  We had talked of going down to Mexico for the funeral, but Jerry wasn't able to get away from work.  Dane thought about going, but in the end, he stayed at home and covered for Mr. Tiemann, his boss, so that he could go.  I found out about Cristina around 9:00 a.m. on Monday, and we flew out at 9:00 a.m. on Tuesday.  It was crazy.  The Lord really blessed in allowing us to go and be with the De Hoyos family.  His hand was so evident.  Though it, of course, was a very sad event, it was a really good trip, start to finish.  Flights were smooth, and we even got in early.  It was such a sweet, loving time with their family and extended family and brothers and sisters in the Lord.  I can't describe what it was like to be there.  It does not seem real.  We will miss Cristina greatly, but what peace to know we'll see her again in heaven.

One good thing:  Kelsey and I LOVE to FLY!

All our flights were smooth, and we even got in early!

The family in prayer before the service.

The room was large and the air conditioning was loud, making it difficult
for me to hear the Spanish clearly.  I only caught snippets. But enough
to understand the feeling.  Some shared in English, which was nice.
Kelsey did really great on her Spanish on this trip.

The De Hoyos family requested Ryan to sing "Mama."

Different men were asked to share.
Here is Donnie Barr with Josué translating.

Alfredo on the right with his brother Guillermo, who was sharing.
We loved meeting Guillermo and Emma and their family.
I hope they come up to Minnesota for a visit, as we
invited them to do.  (Side benefit: they speak excellent English; they live in the U.S.)

Alfredo's brother, Ricardo, looks so much like him, that some of us thought it was him at first.
A very, very nice man.

Cristina's brother, Jesus.

A "professional-sounding" brass quintet played during the service on Tuesday night.

Mark was asked to share.  He spoke of Alfredo's love for his wife
and their example of a loving and faithful marriage.
Dickmar translated.

The De Hoyos family.  There were about 100 or more people at each service.
The family sat or stood at the front throughout.  First the casket was closed, then opened
and people could file by. They had people share, some music, a slideshow of her life,
and most moving of all, a video message spoken by Cristina herself,
 made about 3 weeks before her death.
Left to right: Alfredo, Josué 23, Dany 15, Kriss 26, Zelina 25, and Dickmar 28.

Next day: Wednesday graveside service.
We started at the funeral home and then walked across the street over to the cemetery.

It was a beautiful, well-kept cemetery.

The service first was under the tent. Two brothers shared and when the
Mayor of Montemorelos (Don Francisco) arrived, Alfredo asked if he wanted to share, and he did also.
He is a well-respected and beloved former mayor, and one whom
we've met and worked with on missions trips before.

Then the casket was opened and people were allowed to file by,
then it was closed for the last time and they carried it over to where
they had just the immediate family say their goodbyes
as they lowered it into the ground. This was perhaps the most difficult time for the family.

Horatio Martinez, (standing on the right). He is a gem!
What a joy to get to know his family better on this trip!

Lupita, the widow who owns the store in Vista Hermosa.

The following photos were taken at the hotel where Alfredo hosted a very delicious, formal, authentic Mexican dinner after the service at the gravesite on Wednesday.

Marcela, Kelsey and Linnea after the formal dinner at the hotel in Linares
which Alfredo hosted following the graveside service.

Alfredo's parents.

Ken and Theresa Myers from Sherman, TX. We sat at the same table.
It was such a pleasure to meet dear friends of Alfredo and Cristina's.

Cristina's family

Donnie Barr sharing a moving testimony

Haniel and Linnea (Hani made a wonderful slideshow
with photos of Cristina that was presented at the funeral service.)
There were services on Monday and Tuesday nights, and
on Wednesday at the gravesite.

Hani and Kelsey

Doña Marta, and her daughter Marta (hugging)
Alfredo's sister-in-law Rocio in background

Zelina and Kelsey

The enormous and beautiful flower arrangement in the background
was only one of about 15 or more of equal size. Tradition is that you
throw the flowers in a pile on top of the casket in the grave.

Lynn and I (a little worse for crying)

Doña Marta

The release of emotion and the joy of family.
It was so great to meet Alfredo's and Cristina's families; we enjoyed a lot of laughter with Alfredo's brothers and their families.  Here is one time in the De Hoyos kitchen.

Sweet Kriss saying Goodbye as we drove off

We stayed in a hotel in Monterrey, MX, before flying out
on Thursday morning. I love these mountains (in the background).

The Tiemanns (and two of their 11 children)--"Best Traveling Companions"

(Link to Mexico Missions Trip 2009)