Jerry's Tribute to Cristina De Hoyos: Manage It (Victorious in Christ) Monday

When our dear friend, Cristina De Hoyos passed away recently, and Kelsey and I went down to Mexico for the funeral, I anticipated that Alfredo would ask people for testimonies.  I don't do well under those circumstances, because I'm too emotional.  I knew that Alfredo would be missing my husband, Jerry's, presence, and I also know that my husband can write really, really well.  So, I asked Jer to write a testimony that I could take with me down to Mexico.  This is what he wrote about this incredible woman, whom we all loved so much.




I remember Cristina

Though my visits were few, my memories of her are many and lasting. How challenging it is for me to reflect upon her life lived here on earth for the Lord. She had a smile that demonstrated why God made smiles for His creation, and a hearty laugh that could swell that smile to fill the room with warmth and happiness. She had a voice that spoke softly to turn away strife, but strongly to defend God's goodness, and to tell and retell the old, old story of Jesus and his love.

She faithfully cared for and loved and nurtured her husband and family. Beyond that, she had hands that made gifts for others, and arms that carried those gifts where she went. She had feet that took her to the homes and hearts of others to share God's Love. She had eyes that were clean windows into a heart made pure and right by God. Her sweet countenance was divinely given, and could not be mistaken for happiness brought by this world.

How wonderful to ponder that those feet now walk on streets of gold rather than the dust and mud of this world. How joyful I am to think that she has joined the laughter and rejoicing in heaven. How good of God to have shared her with me, to demonstrate His everlasting Love. She no longer needs His special gifts of faith and hope, but having known Cristina has made me more grateful to God for these gifts, until I no longer need them.

God in His infinite wisdom has taken her to Himself.  I pray for His comfort to fill the void left in the hearts of all those who knew and loved her, until by His great Mercy and Grace we too can join her in that far, far better place. 
1 Peter 5:10,11

Jerry Gunn

An Example of A Godly Wife and Mother: Manage It (Victorious in Christ) Monday

My Tribute to Cristina De Hoyos

Cristina, our dear friend who we will greatly miss, passed away on September 27, 2010.  She was an incredibly Biblical example of a wife and mother.  Married to a "Command Man," (a description taken from the Pearls' book, "Created to be his Helpmeet") there was no question who was going to lead in their marriage and home.  But Cristina was no shrinking violet either.  She had a very strong, powerful, sometimes opinionated personality.  You might call her a "spitfire."  In obedience to the Lord, and out of love for Him and her husband, she submitted to her husband--beautifully. Amazingly well. The story of Alfredo and Cristina De Hoyos' salvation and the impact that those decisions made on their marriage and the dynamics within their family is so dramatic that it could be made into a best-selling book or movie.  After becoming Christians, both of them grew in their faith by leaps and bounds.  Cristina came under Alfredo's authority, and saw God leading through her husband.  She respected Alfredo.  And Alfredo adored her.  He worshiped her.  At Cristina's funeral, Alfredo said to me, "She was my 'queen.'"  Cristina gave every moment of her life to loving and serving Alfredo and her children and discipling others.  After five children, and 30 years of marriage, she still looked at Alfredo with devotion and love and a twinkle in her eye and he still wanted to be with her every second.

Sometimes when we were in the De Hoyos' home while on a missions trip, I would observe a certain scene play out.  Cristina would be in the kitchen of their home and Alfredo would be leading a group and instructing them (maybe 30 or more people all listening to him intently) in the open living area of their large home, but he was cut off from the sight of his wife.  He would suddenly stop what he was doing and call out to her.  She would answer very quickly.  They would exchange a sentence or two. Then he would go on.  One time I asked her about why he did this.  She told me with a womanly, affectionate expression, which told me more than her words did, that he just needed to know where she was, that she was there.  Now that she is with the Lord, I imagine that it is very difficult for this man who has wanted to know that Cristina was there, nearby, if not by his side always, not to have her with him.  He must feel very lost and like a part of him is missing.

When Alfredo called Cristina's name, she answered his call in an interesting way.  When Alfredo would call out to her in their home, she would almost jump to attention, and immediately say, "Mandame!" (pronounced "mahn'-da-may!")  And she would come running!  I tried to understand the Spanish word she was saying, and what it meant.  The children would answer their father in a similar fashion.  I hadn't heard any other Mexican people using this expression.  We asked her about this.  What did "mandame" mean? It was not a traditional "Mexican phrase," but simply their way of showing respect to their husband and father.  Literally, it means, "Command me. Give me orders--I am at your service."  Through her example, her children were trained to respect and adore their father, as well.


She was always available to him, and never in a resentful way.  When he came up to her, she smiled at him, and would coo and almost "purr."  She always catered to his needs.  She would fix him special food, take care of whatever he needed, be by his side when he was talking to and ministering to people, often sitting at their table in their dining room, or when out in the community visiting the sick, or sharing the gospel or counseling.  She was the epitome of a helpmeet.  But she was no doormat. Do not for one minute think that he walked over her.  Never was a woman more loved, I don't think, by a husband, more esteemed, more elevated in status, than she.


Cristina was a very strong woman!  Her strength came from the Lord.  She knew what she believed and she knew how to communicate to others their need for Him.  She was an intelligent, capable, confident woman. A fantastic cook.  An expert in many areas and especially in nutrition, she had a library of books on nutrition that was larger than my entire library.  She was aware of everything that was happening around her.  She kept track of the needs of others, and met them, or brought them to someone who could.  She counseled women continually.  She could have led in many ways outside her home, and led well, but she knew what God had called her to do as a helpmeet to her husband, and mother to her children, raising them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and she made her husband and their family greater, exponentially, by supporting her husband's agenda, and working hard to make him successful.  She sought to please him.  He looked to her for counsel and advice.  She followed him.  He listened to her.  He was immensely influenced by her.  She CHOSE to serve him. She chose, out of love for Christ, to die to herself.  She laid down her life for her family:  for her husband and her children.  And out of the dying came life.  Her example opened many doors of influence.


The realm where she led was in the community of women.  Women throughout the area came to her, talked to her, asked her for help and advice, watched how she interacted with her husband and family, and they were changed.  Many were led to the Lord by her, or came to Christ because of the De Hoyos family's ministry.


In her Bible she had recorded the names of those she had led to Christ.  She had started writing on the inside flyleaf.  The first name written was her husband, Alfredo's.  Then more names.  When the inside flyleaf was not sufficient space to contain the names, she went to the back.

Cristina led Ladies' Bible Studies for years.  When we went down on missions trips, we women would participate in them.  She always asked us to share a word with the women.  But, it was amazing to watch her lead a group of women.  She had a way of causing all the women to become more confident in their faith, and leaders themselves.  She knew when to purr and speak lovingly, and when to roar and speak the Truth of God's Word loudly and directly, calling a person to repentance, and action!  She could purr like a kitten, and she could roar like a lion!


One thing I observed her do in a group of women sitting in a circle, was to suddenly, loudly, almost startlingly, call out a woman's name, who might be sitting across the circle from her, during testimony time.  She knew that the women needed to become bold in speaking about the Lord, and what He had done in their lives.  She wouldn't just wait for them to get up the courage to speak.  Oh, no!  She would call on them by name, like a command!  There was no excuse, no possibility of saying, "I don't have a testimony today."  She expected that if you were walking with the Lord, professing to know Him, and you knew anything of His Word, you would have some testimony to give.  She also knew these women, and was like a mother to them.  She knew what situations they were in, what they were going through, what level of prayer was needed, and what physical needs they had, as well as spiritual, and she was ready to give.  She truly cared and they knew it!

Proverbs 31:20-31 is a description of Cristina:


 ²⁰She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
 ²¹She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
 ²²She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
 ²³Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
 ²⁴She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
 ²⁵Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
 ²⁶She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
 ²⁷She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
 ²⁸Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
 ²⁹Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
 ³⁰Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
 ³¹Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

When you met Cristina, you met Jesus Christ, and you had to decide what you were going to do with her Lord and Savior.  She influenced every person who met her.  I pray that I may grow more like her.  She was an excellent wife and mother, whose life bore much fruit and who brought glory and praise to her Heavenly Father.  She was "...a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised...and let her own works praise her in the gates."

Saying Goodbye To A Dear Friend (Part 1): Manage It (Victorious in Christ) Monday

The De Hoyos and Gunn Families in Mexico 2007

A week ago today, Monday morning at 6:00 a.m., the Lord took our dear friend, Cristina, by the hand and ushered her into His presence as she took the final step through the door into heaven.  I got a call from our friend Mark Tiemann a few hours later. This started a whirlwind of activity which resulted in Kelsey and I flying with Mark, Lynn and Linnea Tiemann to Mexico (click on link to see photos from the trip) for 3 days last week to attend the funeral and be there for the family.


We had been anticipating the call.  Her battle with cancer, which began with breast cancer, had in the last year spread to other parts of her body.  Her husband, Alfredo, sadly but poetically described her nearness to death in a recent email:

"We have walked in the path of righteousness for so long now, that God’s home is closer than our own. 16 years ago we knew that his home was on the other side of the hill, 5 years ago we could see the lights from a distance, a year ago we found the town, 6 months ago we found the street, 2 months ago we were only some  blocks away, and today I can say we are only a couple of doors away. I’m thankful that God has allowed me to walk my own wife to His door."

She suffered so much at the end.  Her family (especially Alfredo and their daughter Zelina), gave everything to care for her in their home.  For awhile, an electric wheelchair made it possible for her to get around the house.  Then she needed to be lifted from bed. The last week of her life, she required care pretty much twenty four hours a day. She had slipped into a coma and was delirious at times. Now, there are no more tears, there's no more pain, and she has the joy indescribable of being in the continual presence of Jesus.

A Picture of Faithfulness

Cristina De Hoyos Villareal was the most faithful follower of Christ I think I have ever known.  The gift and honor of having known her, and of calling her my friend, is priceless.  You didn't "meet" Cristina and then go on your way.  Everyone who met her was impacted by her life. She was a powerhouse in a small package.  Her flashing black eyes, ringing laughter and beautiful smile were instruments in the orchestra of her personality, making beautiful music. She sparkled.  She was funny, she was a firecracker, she was gentle.  Cristina was so warm, so open, so loving.  And she challenged you.  Wherever you were in your relationship with the Lord, she challenged you by word and example to go further, and deeper.  First of all, she challenged you to be saved and give yourself to the Lord Jesus Christ who died for you.  If you were saved, she challenged you to be more committed, more surrendered, share with more people the gospel and give more of yourself.  She gave all.  She held absolutely nothing back.  She was so real.

Cristina was so alive.  I cannot think of her as "gone" or "dead" because she is so vividly alive still.  Praise the Lord, she is alive in heaven because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ--His death and resurrection; because He lives, we too can live!  She is more alive than ever before, and those of us who have trusted in Christ will see her again!  I look forward to seeing your smile and hearing your laugh, Cristina! And never having to say Goodbye again! Hallelujah!

Saying Goodbye To A Dear Friend (Photos from the Trip): Manage It (Victorious in Christ) Monday

When we found out that Cristina had passed away, I called Jerry right away.  We had talked of going down to Mexico for the funeral, but Jerry wasn't able to get away from work.  Dane thought about going, but in the end, he stayed at home and covered for Mr. Tiemann, his boss, so that he could go.  I found out about Cristina around 9:00 a.m. on Monday, and we flew out at 9:00 a.m. on Tuesday.  It was crazy.  The Lord really blessed in allowing us to go and be with the De Hoyos family.  His hand was so evident.  Though it, of course, was a very sad event, it was a really good trip, start to finish.  Flights were smooth, and we even got in early.  It was such a sweet, loving time with their family and extended family and brothers and sisters in the Lord.  I can't describe what it was like to be there.  It does not seem real.  We will miss Cristina greatly, but what peace to know we'll see her again in heaven.

One good thing:  Kelsey and I LOVE to FLY!

All our flights were smooth, and we even got in early!

The family in prayer before the service.

The room was large and the air conditioning was loud, making it difficult
for me to hear the Spanish clearly.  I only caught snippets. But enough
to understand the feeling.  Some shared in English, which was nice.
Kelsey did really great on her Spanish on this trip.

The De Hoyos family requested Ryan to sing "Mama."

Different men were asked to share.
Here is Donnie Barr with Josué translating.

Alfredo on the right with his brother Guillermo, who was sharing.
We loved meeting Guillermo and Emma and their family.
I hope they come up to Minnesota for a visit, as we
invited them to do.  (Side benefit: they speak excellent English; they live in the U.S.)

Alfredo's brother, Ricardo, looks so much like him, that some of us thought it was him at first.
A very, very nice man.

Cristina's brother, Jesus.

A "professional-sounding" brass quintet played during the service on Tuesday night.

Mark was asked to share.  He spoke of Alfredo's love for his wife
and their example of a loving and faithful marriage.
Dickmar translated.

The De Hoyos family.  There were about 100 or more people at each service.
The family sat or stood at the front throughout.  First the casket was closed, then opened
and people could file by. They had people share, some music, a slideshow of her life,
and most moving of all, a video message spoken by Cristina herself,
 made about 3 weeks before her death.
Left to right: Alfredo, Josué 23, Dany 15, Kriss 26, Zelina 25, and Dickmar 28.

Next day: Wednesday graveside service.
We started at the funeral home and then walked across the street over to the cemetery.

It was a beautiful, well-kept cemetery.

The service first was under the tent. Two brothers shared and when the
Mayor of Montemorelos (Don Francisco) arrived, Alfredo asked if he wanted to share, and he did also.
He is a well-respected and beloved former mayor, and one whom
we've met and worked with on missions trips before.

Then the casket was opened and people were allowed to file by,
then it was closed for the last time and they carried it over to where
they had just the immediate family say their goodbyes
as they lowered it into the ground. This was perhaps the most difficult time for the family.

Horatio Martinez, (standing on the right). He is a gem!
What a joy to get to know his family better on this trip!

Lupita, the widow who owns the store in Vista Hermosa.

The following photos were taken at the hotel where Alfredo hosted a very delicious, formal, authentic Mexican dinner after the service at the gravesite on Wednesday.

Marcela, Kelsey and Linnea after the formal dinner at the hotel in Linares
which Alfredo hosted following the graveside service.

Alfredo's parents.

Ken and Theresa Myers from Sherman, TX. We sat at the same table.
It was such a pleasure to meet dear friends of Alfredo and Cristina's.

Cristina's family

Donnie Barr sharing a moving testimony

Haniel and Linnea (Hani made a wonderful slideshow
with photos of Cristina that was presented at the funeral service.)
There were services on Monday and Tuesday nights, and
on Wednesday at the gravesite.

Hani and Kelsey

Doña Marta, and her daughter Marta (hugging)
Alfredo's sister-in-law Rocio in background

Zelina and Kelsey

The enormous and beautiful flower arrangement in the background
was only one of about 15 or more of equal size. Tradition is that you
throw the flowers in a pile on top of the casket in the grave.

Lynn and I (a little worse for crying)

Doña Marta

The release of emotion and the joy of family.
It was so great to meet Alfredo's and Cristina's families; we enjoyed a lot of laughter with Alfredo's brothers and their families.  Here is one time in the De Hoyos kitchen.

Sweet Kriss saying Goodbye as we drove off

We stayed in a hotel in Monterrey, MX, before flying out
on Thursday morning. I love these mountains (in the background).

The Tiemanns (and two of their 11 children)--"Best Traveling Companions"

(Link to Mexico Missions Trip 2009)