Friendship Through Good Times and Bad

Today, I'm processing, mentally and emotionally, all that's transpired in the last few days.  Here are a few of the things that have been going on and my thoughts on them:

• I mentioned in my Thankful Thursday post that one of my best friends lost her father suddenly last week.  Early Monday morning her mom, who I have enjoyed getting to know the last few years, went into the hospital. (She was able to be released, Praise the Lord, and attend the funeral the next day.)  It's overwhelming when you're grieving your father's death, and then you suddenly have to worry about your mom, and be strong for her, too.  After my father died suddenly many years ago, for the next few years my mom, who lived about 45 minutes away, experienced anxiety or panic attacks, and I would be called to leave my husband and 2 small children to go the emergency room, sometimes late at night.  I knew how overwhelmed my friend must have felt, and I was honored when she asked me to go to the hospital to sit with her mom, while the family was all at the funeral home that night.  My friend and her family have been there for us, and done so much for our family over the years, that we could never repay them.  It was a pleasure, and no burden, to do this small thing for her.  My friend's brother, who had come from out of state, and who I had never met before, was at the hospital for a short while.  I find it fascinating and enjoyable to get to know the family of my good friends.  (You know, there's a genetic thing going on, which is so fun to observe!)
• Yesterday was the funeral.  The service was so well planned and orchestrated, honoring to their dad and to God.  The 4 "children," including my friend, were able to give tribute to their father, while controlling their emotions, which is amazing.  Any one of them could be a public speaker.  The music was beautiful, and so appropriate: 23 grandchildren (all but 4 are young men so you heard mostly male voices--tall, good-looking young men, dressed in dark suits) sang the hymn, "The Love of God."  The sound of that many male harmonizing voices was stirring. My friend's son sings in a male quartet, which sang "The Mansions of the Lord" with string instruments accompanying, and I've never heard them sing better.  Just before a congregational hymn, "Victory in Jesus," there was a gospel presentation, woven into a tribute, by my friend's husband.  I would love to have every one of my unsaved family members hear what he said.  I'm praying that anyone who doesn't know the Lord who was there yesterday, is seriously considering his words, and that they'll surrender their lives and trust Christ as their Savior.

• My friend's dad, though not perfect--none of us are--was a believer in Christ, and lived out and taught his children strong character and values, and was an example of the qualities which he spoke about as being important.  Extremely strong and hard-working, thrifty, outgoing (he would go up and talk to complete strangers), employed at the same job for 48 years, faithful to his wife of 60 years, loving to his children and grandchildren, they learned well from him.  The youngest son, speaking last, told of his dad's questioning him when he was young about whether he'd given his life to the Lord yet.  When the answer came back a negative, his dad told him, "Get with it!" A man of few words, but he left a Godly heritage.

Going through this last week with our friends, one of the deepest impressions I'm feeling, is that when you've experienced Christian friendship for almost 20 years with someone, and you've gone through heartache and loss, been with each other through weddings of children and funerals of parents, through good times and bad...
it forges a bond.  There is a tie that is deep and strong, and you know you'll be there for one another. That's a good thing.

Jerry's Tribute to Cristina De Hoyos: Manage It (Victorious in Christ) Monday

When our dear friend, Cristina De Hoyos passed away recently, and Kelsey and I went down to Mexico for the funeral, I anticipated that Alfredo would ask people for testimonies.  I don't do well under those circumstances, because I'm too emotional.  I knew that Alfredo would be missing my husband, Jerry's, presence, and I also know that my husband can write really, really well.  So, I asked Jer to write a testimony that I could take with me down to Mexico.  This is what he wrote about this incredible woman, whom we all loved so much.




I remember Cristina

Though my visits were few, my memories of her are many and lasting. How challenging it is for me to reflect upon her life lived here on earth for the Lord. She had a smile that demonstrated why God made smiles for His creation, and a hearty laugh that could swell that smile to fill the room with warmth and happiness. She had a voice that spoke softly to turn away strife, but strongly to defend God's goodness, and to tell and retell the old, old story of Jesus and his love.

She faithfully cared for and loved and nurtured her husband and family. Beyond that, she had hands that made gifts for others, and arms that carried those gifts where she went. She had feet that took her to the homes and hearts of others to share God's Love. She had eyes that were clean windows into a heart made pure and right by God. Her sweet countenance was divinely given, and could not be mistaken for happiness brought by this world.

How wonderful to ponder that those feet now walk on streets of gold rather than the dust and mud of this world. How joyful I am to think that she has joined the laughter and rejoicing in heaven. How good of God to have shared her with me, to demonstrate His everlasting Love. She no longer needs His special gifts of faith and hope, but having known Cristina has made me more grateful to God for these gifts, until I no longer need them.

God in His infinite wisdom has taken her to Himself.  I pray for His comfort to fill the void left in the hearts of all those who knew and loved her, until by His great Mercy and Grace we too can join her in that far, far better place. 
1 Peter 5:10,11

Jerry Gunn

"Should You Go First"

I mentioned in the last post that we are grieving, yet praying and trusting, as we learned recently that our dear friend's cancer has spread to many parts of her body.  I read this poem on a friend's site today, and I think it will comfort those who may be grieving today.

Should you go First

Should you go first and I remain
to walk the road alone
I'll live in memory's garden, dear
with happy days we've known
in Spring I'll wait for roses red,
when fades the lilacs blue,
in early fall, when brown leaves call
I'll catch a glimpse of you

Should you go first, and I remain
for battles to be fought,
each thing you've touched along the way
will be a hallowed spot
I'll hear your voice;
I'll see your smile,
though blindly I may grope
the memory of your helping hand
will buoy me on with hope

Should you go first and I remain
to finish with the scroll,
no length'ning shadows ahall creep in
to make this life seem droll
We've known so much of happiness
we've had our cup of joy,
and memory is one gift of God
that death cannot destroy

Should you go first and I remain,
one thing I'd have you do;
walk slowly down that long, lone path,
for soon I'll follow you
I'll want to know each step you take
that I may walk the same,
for some day down that lonely road
you'll hear me call your name

Author: A.K. Rowswell

"Strength To Meet My Trials Here"

We are grieving, yet praying and trusting, as we have learned very recently that the cancer present in our dear, dear friend, has spread to many parts of her body, and she is in intense pain. Separated by many miles, we cannot go to her, yet our prayers for her are heard by our loving Heavenly Father, and He answers.

I was comforted, even as I wept, by a post on More Than Conquerors, and the poem, "Should You Go First," and another post of hers on our anniversary, June 3, which included the hymn, Day by Day (see video below). Day by Day is a hymn that always touches me deeply, and in the valleys of my life, I have sung it back to the Lord many times. I have Swedish ancestry, and it was one of my grandmother's favorites hymns, this old Swedish tune. Because of Christ, "strength I find to meet my trials here..." is true today, as it was a hundred years ago (and a thousand years ago).

We have the promise that, if we trust in Christ's shed blood and resurrection to save us, we will see our loved ones once again, on the other side. For her, I cannot grieve because she will soon see her Beloved Savior face to face. How can one be sad when she will enjoy such joy!  I grieve only for those of us she will leave behind, and for the pain she suffers now on this side.  But she will (soon perhaps) be free from all pain and tears, and in eternal joy and peace.

1 Corinthians 15:1-6, 12-26:

 ¹Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand;

 ²By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.

 ³For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;

 ⁴And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:

 ⁵And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve:

 ⁶After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep. 

 ¹²Now if Christ be preached that he rose from the dead, how say some among you that there is no resurrection of the dead?

 ¹³But if there be no resurrection of the dead, then is Christ not risen:

 ¹⁴And if Christ be not risen, then is our preaching vain, and your faith is also vain.

 ¹⁵Yea, and we are found false witnesses of God; because we have testified of God that he raised up Christ: whom he raised not up, if so be that the dead rise not.

 ¹⁶For if the dead rise not, then is not Christ raised:

 ¹⁷And if Christ be not raised, your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins.

 ¹⁸Then they also which are fallen asleep in Christ are perished.

 ¹⁹If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.

 ²⁰But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept.

 ²¹For since by man came death, by man came also the resurrection of the dead.

 ²²For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.

 ²³But every man in his own order: Christ the firstfruits; afterward they that are Christ's at his coming.

 ²⁴Then cometh the end, when he shall have delivered up the kingdom to God, even the Father; when he shall have put down all rule and all authority and power.

 ²⁵For he must reign, till he hath put all enemies under his feet.

 ²⁶The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.

1 Corinthians 15:51-58:

"Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,

In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality.

So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory.

O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.

But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory

through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord."

A Poem for Parents Who Have Lost a Child

There are a lot of hurting people out there today.  One of the most painful experiences anyone can go through is to lose a child.  It's not right, somehow. You never think you're going to have your child die before you do.  These are some of the responses that others have shared with me about losing their child. It doesn't matter how old your child is when you lose them, it's always hard.  Never say to someone, "Well, at least you had them for ____ years."  Or the other extreme, when someone loses a child through miscarriage, "Well, at least you never really knew them--that would be worse."  Miscarriage affects millions and can be devastating to parents. (Click here for Miscarriage statistics and helpful information.)
Sometimes well-meaning people make things worse by playing down the loss.  In 1987 we suffered the loss of our child through miscarriage. (I believe that I may have miscarried numerous times before this, but we won't be sure until we arrive in heaven and meet "our children").
The Lord gave me the words to this poem as I grieved.  I dedicate it to you moms and dads whose little one is in heaven with Jesus now, running and jumping and playing, while you are here on earth.  I pray that it will minister to your heart, beloved hurting friend.

My Child Died Today
My Child died today.

Is anyone aware?
My Child died today.

Does anybody care?
My Child died today.

Dear God,
Are You up there?

My Child died today.

The pain is more than I can bear.

I cried out to the LORD in anguish
"How could You do this to me?"
I could not comprehend at first
These precious gems of truth learned slowly
But I felt His presence surround me
And His soft voice say,
"I feel your pain and I do care,
You're not the only one,
You see, two thousand years ago,
I also lost a Son.
I suffer with you, know your sorrow,
Understand your fears.
For back what seems only a day
A debt there was to pay:
To give to you Eternal Life
I tried to find a way
So you could live, I chose to say
My Child Died Today."
© Wendy Trachy Gunn 1988

If you know someone who is hurting and would benefit by receiving a copy of this poem,

it is available for purchase through Scribd, under my profile Titus2woman.

My prayer is that it will help bring healing to many who are hurting from the loss of a child.


These books both received an average of 5-star ratings in many reviews.  Reading some of the reviews and from what I could ascertain online, they appeared good.  However, I can't guarantee they are good or that they will definitely be a help to you, in this case, as I have not read them, (it's always dangerous to recommend books without having read them, so, please let me know, if you have read them, what you thought of them or if there is something objectionable.)  Also, I would love any of your book recommendations of Christian authors who've written on miscarriage and losing a child, especially books that are including Scripture.

My Salvation Testimony--Part 1

It's the perfect time of the year to share my salvation testimony with you.  Everywhere you see people celebrating. Christmas parties at work, neighborhood get-togethers, extended family exchanges of gifts and celebrating together. There is an air of festivity, a reason for partying, and...alcohol will play a big part in many lives and homes this time of year. Lives and reputations will be ruined, marriages will disintegrate, car accidents will take the lives of some, and children will be beaten and abused by those under its influence, and many tears will be shed by those who love someone who drinks.  Oh, yes, it's the perfect time of the year to share my testimony with you, because alcohol played a big part in it.

At this time of year, Christmastime, with New Years Eve following closely on its heels, the celebration becomes one long-running excuse to drink for many people. But, also, it is a time when those who have never even considered drinking are tempted to "just try it once--"Go ahead, just have one, what harm can it do." They are tempted by the sheer number of times alcohol is offered to them, and by the fact that everyone else seems to be "doing it," and by the messages in the media encouraging them to drink. Everywhere we look, we are bombarded with messages that say drinking is cool, the perfect finishing touch to your special dinner, choosing just the right wine is a sign of refinement and class, it will impress your friends, it adds to the fun, it makes things more festive and it's for everyone. Yes, of course, there is the added message, these days, not to drink and drive. These messages that drinking is not only ok, but encouraged, are not really surprising when you're out in the world. However, it still takes a firm resoluteness to one's convictions to get through the gauntlet unscathed. But, what is amazing, and alarming to me, is the number of instances where drinking is taking place even in some conservative Christian circles.  Christian twenty-somethings, homeschooled their whole life, from Godly homes and families, are going to Wine-tasting Weekends or passing a bottle around at Bible studies. They have broken down the wall and stepped over, ignoring their Godly forefathers' longstanding ban on drinking for anyone who was serious about following Christ in obedience to His Word and anyone who cared about their testimony before a lost world. Please listen to my story and think deeply on this subject. It affects every one of us.

This is "My Testimony," by Wendy Gunn
My childhood was a blending of stability and instability, happy and very sad events, just as my family was a blending of two people, both widowed, and their two children, each. My mother's story had been a traumatic one prior to marrying my dad. Her first husband was an alcoholic who died very young from the damage to his liver which he'd inflicted upon himself.  My mother never knew. She found the bottles hidden in the back of their closet. Her little boy, who'd been suffering with a life-threatening disease, lost his battle with death, and died not long after his father, at the age of 4. When mom married her former landlord, they blended two families: my mom and my sister, now 4, joined with my dad and my 13-year-old sister and 6-year-old brother. I was born a year later. We never ever called ourselves anything but family.  It never occurred to us children to use words like "step" or "half"--what did that mean anyway?  We were brothers and sisters. I give my mom, especially, a lot of credit, for the loving, close family we still have today.

My mom, dad, brother, and 2 sisters—loved me. We were a religious family and went to church regularly.  Things were very happy in those early years for me.  But death was looming around the corner.  It became a prominent part of my story from the time I was 8 years old onward. Every year from then on, year after year, someone whom I loved dearly would die. First was my 2-day-old niece, then both my grandparents. Next, my oldest sister, fourteen years older than I, who had been like a second mom to me, died when I was 11. Her husband had been exempted from serving in the Vietnam war while she was alive, but so sick with kidney disease. Upon her death, he was drafted and soon after was reported missing in action. In my childish affections, I had idolized him from the moment he came into our family when I was 7. My sister had married young, and he was a few years younger than she, only 18, when they wed.  He must've been about 22 when he died. I still remember the day my parents told me he was missing. I was 12 and it hit me hard.  In the following years my other grandma died, and then a favorite uncle had a fatal heart attack and died very unexpectedly. As I finished out junior high, my brother became very sick and unless he had a kidney transplant, he would die, too.  Many special people, and some of the most important men in my life, had been taken from me.  All I wanted was to find someone who would love me forever and never leave me.

"And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13)

"The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." (Jeremiah 31:3)

"...he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."  (Hebrews 13:5)

Please return to read Part 2 of "My Testimony" which will be posted tomorrow.

A Real Proverbs 31 Woman

Hello everyone! I apologize for "dropping off the face of the earth." We have had to say goodbye to a godly mom and grandma, a Real Proverbs 31 Woman: my mother-in-law, who went home to be with the Lord on July 4th. The week after the funeral we spent with my husband's siblings going through mom's "stuff" and finally this weekend enjoyed a much planned-for and anticipated family reunion with my father-in-law's side of the family! Whew! It's been crazy, deeply moving and significant for all of us who were involved. The verse inside the cover of the funeral bulletin was Ephesians 3:20. It was the life verse for my father and mother-in-law. I think it's a wonderful idea to have a life verse as a couple. Ephesians 3:20 says, "Now unto Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us."
Her life and all that was said about her at the funeral reminded me of this poem:

Only one life, twill soon be past

Only what's done for Christ will last.

A friend wrote some nice things about Mom on her blog: here's the link:

http://vindaystoremember.blogspot.com/2009/07/virtuous-woman.html

I'll blog more later, but I just want to say I'm still here and thanks for sticking with me. I'll be posting more thoughts, as well as photos, in the coming days.