My Testimony--Part 3--Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Merry Christmas!

Here is Part 3 of "My Testimony."  Please go back to Part 1 and Part 2 first if you have not read them.  Thank you.

My purpose in sharing my testimony is to be obedient to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and to bring Him glory. I pray that the sharing of this testimony will not bring any pain or offense to any one, especially my family, whom I love dearly. These details of my life before I came to know Christ as my Lord and Savior are painful for me to relate, but I have tried to relate them as truthfully and lovingly as possible. I pray that the Lord will use my story to help others and cause them to love and trust Him, and perhaps save some from the painful consequences of sin which I've suffered. I'm so thankful to the Lord Jesus for saving me and I dedicate this testimony to Him.
As I stated earlier, I only began drinking after going to bars for many months. But now I was getting drunk often. I was going to bars alone, leaving when the bar closed at one o'clock in the morning. One night, very late, while driving home after a night of drinking and dancing, I fell asleep at the wheel of my car going 65 mph down the highway. I woke up to find the left wheels of my car up on the median and my car heading straight into the lights of the oncoming traffic. Somehow, miraculously, I was able to pull the car safely back into my own lane of traffic and continue on home without harm to myself or anyone else. Suddenly wide awake and sobered by the realization of what had just taken place, I drove home knowing, without a doubt, that God had saved my life.


If I hadn't believed there was a God before, I did now. Growing up, I knew about God and knew the facts surrounding salvation: that Jesus Christ was God’s Son and that He had died on the cross to save us from our sins. I knew that He had risen from the dead and that believing in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior was the only way to go to heaven, and escape punishment for your sins in hell. I knew that if you believed in Jesus, you were called a Christian. I thought I was a Christian. But I thought I could say, "Jesus, I believe all this and someday when I die, you’ll let me into your heaven, but right now I’m going to be in charge of my life and make my own decisions. You just go someplace and don’t bother me unless I think I need you and then I’ll call for you." I was not ready to let Him run my life.  I knew about Jesus as a Savior, but I knew nothing about Jesus as Lord.


When God saved my life that night that I fell asleep at the wheel, I was very grateful to Him.  I knew that He wanted me to change my life. There were a number of times when I had gotten drunk and behaved in a way that I wanted to forget. Now, drinking had almost killed me. I knew I had to do something.  I was a mess. So, right then and there, I decided to quit drinking, forever. And I did.  But, even though I was ready to change in this area, I wasn't ready to change anything else. God did not let me go, though.


As I continued in my search for someone who would love me forever and never leave me, I became more and more empty inside. I had a longing inside me that I couldn’t satisfy. I was going further and further down a road paved with the world's thinking. I would read books and listen to people who told me lies and I would believe them. I was so mixed up in my thinking and believing more and more of satan's lies.


Interspersed with guys from bars were legitimate boyfriends. One was quite serious. When, at the end of the summer, he broke up with me, I became very depressed. All through this time of searching, I thought that I was looking for a man:  some person who would promise to love me truly, forever and without leaving. Now, I was alone again. I didn't think there was any reason to go on without someone to love me. I would listen to sad songs on the record player in my apartment and cry for hours. What I didn't realize was that all this time the One I was searching for was Jesus Christ. He is the Only One Who can perfectly love you, knowing everything there is to know about you, and He is the Only One Who can promise His love forever and ever and fill your emptiness. He is the Only One Who will never die and never leave you.  But I still didn't get it.


When my boyfriend and I broke up, I really hit bottom emotionally. That was when God finally got through to me. One night about a year after my bar-hopping had begun, my family was all together at a restaurant celebrating my brother’s birthday. My brother, who was 7 years older than me, and I had become very close, but he scoffed at Christianity. He knew that I had professed Christianity in the past and he wanted nothing to do with it. During our conversation that evening, I mentioned something in passing, referring to, and using the words, “my Christianity.” Unbelievably, I still considered myself a Christian, and thought my family should see me in that context as well. But my brother's reaction took me totally by surprise. His response was like a slap in the face. He scoffed at me, “I thought you’d given that up!” I couldn't have felt his disgust more if he had spit at me. But, as I drove home alone that night, all I could think about was that my brother saw nothing in my life to indicate that I was a Christian. It was as if my brother had held up a mirror in front of me, and I was appalled at what I saw. For the first time I saw myself for who I really was: a filthy, rotten sinner, in need of a Saviour.


As I drove home that night, I cried out to God, tears streaming down my face, and said, “Lord, I’ve tried to run my life and I’ve made a mess of it! Please God, take over my life—I'm giving it to you; I want You to run it from now on.”


I had been sobbing so hard that I could barely see to drive, but instantly there was Someone there, a Presence filling my car.  I didn’t know exactly what had happened, but I felt an enormous peace come over me. Somehow, something had changed. I was changed. Jesus had come into my heart and taken control of my life and filled me with peace. I was filled with His Love and I wanted to burst with joy.  That moment began my new life with Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. I immediately had an insatiable desire to read the Bible, and I read every spare moment that I could.


I had found the One I was searching for all my life. The One True Love Who would love me forever and never leave. And my emptiness was filled. My life began to change. God brought a young Christian man into my life--no, he wasn't "the one," but he and the group of friends I met through him helped me immensely in my Christian life. In essence, they discipled me that first year. They showed me what it looked like to follow Christ, helped me establish Christian disciplines, and loved me--even though I was a very immature baby Christian, with a lot of baggage.


On that day that I accepted Jesus' payment for my sins on the cross, and based my righteousness and claim to heaven on His righteousness, death and resurrection, I surrendered control of my life to Jesus Christ, my Savior and Lord.  I thank God with all my heart for saving me that day, October 6, 1975, 34 years ago.


So, where are you in this story? Are you the one who drinks socially? Hardly ever, really. What if just one person is influenced to drink by your example, or becomes an alcoholic, or kills someone while driving drunk?  Or, perhaps you get drunk fairly often yourself.

Maybe you're searching like I was, for Someone to Love you.

Maybe you are trying to run your own life.  And maybe you're not doing such a good job of it.  Whoever you are: son, daughter, mother, father, please seriously consider these words. Please give your life to Jesus Christ right now. Whatever changes need to be made, He will help you. You don't have to fix yourself up first to come to Him. There is NOTHING you can do to save yourself.  He is your only hope of salvation and heaven.  He is in the business of changing lives. That is what this testimony is all about. If he can take someone like me and love me and forgive me, then He will fill you with peace and pour His love into your heart. Put your trust in Him and give Him control of every area of your life. Don't wait. You may not have tomorrow.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

"He is no fool who gives that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."  Jim Elliot

Romans 10:9-11--"...if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed."

If you are ready to believe in Jesus, and surrender control of your life to Him, please pray this prayer with me now:
"Dear Heavenly Father, please forgive me for my sin. I've turned my back on you, but now I want to give you my life. I believe that, Jesus, You are the Son of God and that You died on the cross for me--that You were punished for MY sins, and that God showed by raising You from the dead that He accepted that payment.  Thank you, Lord.  Please forgive me and come into my heart. Change me and help me, Dear Lord, in Jesus' Name and for His glory!
Amen."

My Testimony--Part 2

Please go back and read Part 1 (click here) of "My Testimony" here.

After many people, and some of the most important men in my life, had died in a very short time, I invented an imaginary world where that person who would love me and never leave, existed. I associated my fantasies with a boy I knew and made up stories in my mind that were part fiction and part truth, and told them to my friends. I partly believed them; the truth was too hard to bear.  My friends, who I'd grown up with, eventually grew tired of this, and one day, when I walked up to the lunch table in the cafeteria where we always sat together, there was suddenly no room for me. That was their way of telling me goodbye. They wanted nothing more to do with me. My parents were absorbed in their grief and sorrow and everyday trials of, first, my sister's illness, and then my brother's. My mother, who'd always been a stay-at-home mom, was working now in order to help pay the mountain of medical bills. They tried to maintain a normal homelife, but I got lost somehow. I was desperately searching for something, someone.

I had always loved dancing and music, and when I was 18, I made the decision to go to the ballrooms which were popular at that time, and dance. I was searching. I convinced a friend to go with me for awhile, but as she was not on a search herself, she stopped going with me after a few months. At the beginning, I didn't drink. I was there to dance and meet guys. I would go every weekend that I could: Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. I had some favorite nightspots, but was always on the lookout for something new. I was single-minded in my mission. Exposed to alcohol weekend after weekend, night after night, I eventually started drinking.
I had not been one of those who drank earlier in my life. In late junior high I formed a friendship with two girls from another school. They talked about Jesus, rather than God and faith, as though they knew Him. They attended a church group on Wednesday nights, and I joined, too. During this time there were seeds of truth planted. Folk Group, as it was called, was led by a young Christian man who truly walked the walk, not just talked the talk. This group was not just about having fun.  We practiced singing every week, and then went out and sang at nursing homes and for events. I began professing faith in Jesus Christ. During my first year or so of high school I tried to be a Christian, but I never surrendered my life to Christ. Hence, all my efforts were just that, my efforts. Of course, they failed. I became disillusioned and during my senior year of high school got into a group that drank some and partied some. I joined them and experienced drunkenness for the first time. Drinking did not make me happy; it only produced painful memories. But I thought I could drink socially, and control it.

My parents drank socially. They had alcohol in a cupboard at home, but only brought it out to serve at card-parties and holidays, like Christmas, to their friends and extended family. My brother and sister never drank, that I can recall. I thought that I could drink a little socially. I had no idea that alcohol would almost cost me my life.
 Please return for Part 3, the conclusion, of "My Testimony" tomorrow.

"I was sinking deep in sin, Far from the peaceful shore,
Very deeply stained within, Sinking to rise no more;
But the Master of the sea Heard my despairing cry,
From the waters lifted me, Now safe am I.
Love lifted me! Love lifted me!
When nothing else could help, Love lifted me."

Isaiah 1:18--"...though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."

My Salvation Testimony--Part 1

It's the perfect time of the year to share my salvation testimony with you.  Everywhere you see people celebrating. Christmas parties at work, neighborhood get-togethers, extended family exchanges of gifts and celebrating together. There is an air of festivity, a reason for partying, and...alcohol will play a big part in many lives and homes this time of year. Lives and reputations will be ruined, marriages will disintegrate, car accidents will take the lives of some, and children will be beaten and abused by those under its influence, and many tears will be shed by those who love someone who drinks.  Oh, yes, it's the perfect time of the year to share my testimony with you, because alcohol played a big part in it.

At this time of year, Christmastime, with New Years Eve following closely on its heels, the celebration becomes one long-running excuse to drink for many people. But, also, it is a time when those who have never even considered drinking are tempted to "just try it once--"Go ahead, just have one, what harm can it do." They are tempted by the sheer number of times alcohol is offered to them, and by the fact that everyone else seems to be "doing it," and by the messages in the media encouraging them to drink. Everywhere we look, we are bombarded with messages that say drinking is cool, the perfect finishing touch to your special dinner, choosing just the right wine is a sign of refinement and class, it will impress your friends, it adds to the fun, it makes things more festive and it's for everyone. Yes, of course, there is the added message, these days, not to drink and drive. These messages that drinking is not only ok, but encouraged, are not really surprising when you're out in the world. However, it still takes a firm resoluteness to one's convictions to get through the gauntlet unscathed. But, what is amazing, and alarming to me, is the number of instances where drinking is taking place even in some conservative Christian circles.  Christian twenty-somethings, homeschooled their whole life, from Godly homes and families, are going to Wine-tasting Weekends or passing a bottle around at Bible studies. They have broken down the wall and stepped over, ignoring their Godly forefathers' longstanding ban on drinking for anyone who was serious about following Christ in obedience to His Word and anyone who cared about their testimony before a lost world. Please listen to my story and think deeply on this subject. It affects every one of us.

This is "My Testimony," by Wendy Gunn
My childhood was a blending of stability and instability, happy and very sad events, just as my family was a blending of two people, both widowed, and their two children, each. My mother's story had been a traumatic one prior to marrying my dad. Her first husband was an alcoholic who died very young from the damage to his liver which he'd inflicted upon himself.  My mother never knew. She found the bottles hidden in the back of their closet. Her little boy, who'd been suffering with a life-threatening disease, lost his battle with death, and died not long after his father, at the age of 4. When mom married her former landlord, they blended two families: my mom and my sister, now 4, joined with my dad and my 13-year-old sister and 6-year-old brother. I was born a year later. We never ever called ourselves anything but family.  It never occurred to us children to use words like "step" or "half"--what did that mean anyway?  We were brothers and sisters. I give my mom, especially, a lot of credit, for the loving, close family we still have today.

My mom, dad, brother, and 2 sisters—loved me. We were a religious family and went to church regularly.  Things were very happy in those early years for me.  But death was looming around the corner.  It became a prominent part of my story from the time I was 8 years old onward. Every year from then on, year after year, someone whom I loved dearly would die. First was my 2-day-old niece, then both my grandparents. Next, my oldest sister, fourteen years older than I, who had been like a second mom to me, died when I was 11. Her husband had been exempted from serving in the Vietnam war while she was alive, but so sick with kidney disease. Upon her death, he was drafted and soon after was reported missing in action. In my childish affections, I had idolized him from the moment he came into our family when I was 7. My sister had married young, and he was a few years younger than she, only 18, when they wed.  He must've been about 22 when he died. I still remember the day my parents told me he was missing. I was 12 and it hit me hard.  In the following years my other grandma died, and then a favorite uncle had a fatal heart attack and died very unexpectedly. As I finished out junior high, my brother became very sick and unless he had a kidney transplant, he would die, too.  Many special people, and some of the most important men in my life, had been taken from me.  All I wanted was to find someone who would love me forever and never leave me.

"And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13)

"The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." (Jeremiah 31:3)

"...he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."  (Hebrews 13:5)

Please return to read Part 2 of "My Testimony" which will be posted tomorrow.