My Story: Spanking (Part 4)

If you are visiting for the first time, or for more on this subject, I recommend you read the other posts in this series.  (Just click on the links.)
Spanking (Part 1)
Spanking (Part 2): Child-Training Advice from An Older Woman
Spanking (Part 3) 
One Percent Rebellion is Still Rebellion
I learned a lesson the hard way when my daughter was young.  Though I was a stay-at-home mom, I worked full-time and then some from home for the first year of my daughter's life.  Later, I became committed to being "just" a Homemaker, but then I struggled to keep my busy life of serving in our church from taking over.  We began Homeschooling when my daughter was about 2 years old.  Perhaps my busyness is why I didn't recognize my daughter's rebellion until she was 9 or 10 years old.  I didn't deal with the attitudes.


You would not have thought her a rebellious child.  But a child who's obedient to you 99% of the time, and rebels only 1% of the time still has a heart of rebellion.  They are choosing to rule their own lives, and when they don't agree with your decision, they rebel.  They just agree with you 99% of the time.


Crying, Hollering, Yelling
When my daughter was 9 or 10, and I recognized her rebellion, I disciplined her.  She would scream and cry at the top of her lungs when disciplined.  (A child’s crying loudly--hollering, wailing, yelling as though they're being killed--when being disciplined is a sign of rebellion.) She clenched her jaw, and stiffened, and would not submit to discipline.  A wise older woman instructed me to bind the enemy before ever beginning to discipline. (This is what I would pray, "Lord, please bind and rebuke Satan and his spirits in the Name of Jesus and by the power of His blood and resurrection.")


Put Aside Your Plans for the Day
My daughter was saved at an early age, and both of my children have a firm faith in Jesus Christ, but she needed to submit to our authority as placed there by God for her protection, provision and guidance.  When rebellion began rearing its ugly head when she was about 10 years old, I realized I could not let it go, and decided that when she was willfully disobedient, rebellious or sassy, I had to put aside any other plans for the day and spend whatever time was needed, privately in her room, administering the "rod and reproof." (Our "rod" was either a paint stick or a wooden spoon.)

photo by Aussiegall

The Process
I would ask her, "What did you do?"  (She needed to recognize her sin, admit and confess.)  Then, I would speak to her from the Word about her sin, pray for and with her,  give her plenty of opportunity for repentance and ask her if she was ready to admit and confess her sin, and begin by giving her one stroke on her thigh or bottom (with panties on).  I would continue increasing the strokes, one at a time, repeating the steps which included Scripture, and giving her another opportunity to repent, if she was not willing to humble herself and confess her sin.  Confession and repentance mean "agreeing with God about my sin."


Sometimes we got up to 20 strokes; maybe more.  During these times, I would cry, begging her to not harden her heart towards God and Scripture, grieving over her hard, stubborn heart and unwillingness to yield to God.  I would pray and ask God for forgiveness, and to show me if there were sins in my own life I hadn't confessed and turned from.  I would cry out to God on her behalf.  If she was still not repentant, eventually I would end the session, praying with her once more, and with deep sorrow tell her we were not done, but we were stopping.  I would have her read passages from her Bible alone in her room before she came out.  I would always emphasize God's heart towards sin, and the consequences, but that He is ready to forgive anyone who truly repents, and asks His forgiveness.


Shared Guilt
Over the years I have told this story to many young moms, especially ones with very young children, 3 and under.  I tell them, "Don't wait until your child is 10!  It's so much easier if you discipline the attitudes now."  If I can help any moms out there avoid this painful scenario for both you and your child, it is worth it.  Whenever I have told this story, my daughter has been right beside me sadly admitting, "Yes."  People can hardly believe she was ever that way.  They are astounded.  She tells them "how bad" she was, and readily admits her rebellion and pride.


I am guilty for not dealing with her heart attitude of stubborn pride, an independent spirit and rebellion when she was a very little girl.  We both suffered greatly for it.  The process was long and arduous.  It took a long time (I honestly don't remember how many days, or weeks or maybe even months, we repeated this scene.  It took hours each time.  But I would say that it was off and on for weeks or more).  It was an emotionally painful ordeal, but finally the Spirit effected a change in her heart, her hard heart was softened and she truly repented of her sin.


A Heart Submitted to God and to Her Parents
When she finally repented, there was no question whatsoever that God had worked.  We knew that God had won the victory.  Now we had the most sweet-spirited, submissive, happy little 10-year-old girl on the face of the earth!  She was obedient, desiring to please us and God.  Her heart was so open to the Lord, and she had a new desire for others to know Jesus.  Oh, joy!

My Plea to You, Dear Moms

Oh, how much pain we could have avoided if I had disciplined her when she was 3 years old (or 2, or 1 or even younger) for her attitudes.  Young moms, Do Not Wait--I implore you!


Do not spare the rod. The rod used appropriately very early in life (one mom I know flicks the legs of her babies with her finger when they won't lay still on the changing table) will bring peace to your home—and you won’t need to use the rod very much later on.  Always remember, you are obeying the Word of God.

"The rod and reproof give wisdom:

but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."

Proverbs 29:15

"Correct thy son,
(which means chastise, discipline, punish, reprove, instruct)

and he shall give thee rest;

yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul."

Proverbs 29:17

How We Homeschooled

This post started out as a comment on another blogger's site, turned into a post and then became part of a theme!  "How I Homeschooled" and "How I Put My Own Curriculum Together" are subjects that you will begin to see more often here.  By the way, if you are thinking of Homeschooling, read this post on "How To Begin Homeschooling."


We used the library extensively in Homeschooling.  (But be discerning. Read my post and the links to find out more.)  It was at the core of our History-based curriculum (not purchased, but made by me).  We found excellent, twaddle-free books and read them together as a family.  I searched the Library website for the time period we were studying, then looked up real people who lived in that time period, did some research, and we read fascinating biographies about these people and the time they lived in.


Childhood of Famous Americans, Cornerstone of Freedom, and Landmark books are series that I would highly recommend.  Our public library system had many of these.  Remember to look for the old books.  Go to the search site of your library and find the category "series" and type in the name of the series.  One of our favorite authors was Augusta Stevenson, who wrote many books for Childhood of Famous Americans.


We also read many missionary biographies.  When I say "we" I mean our whole family.  We did quite a bit of "school reading" together as a family in the evenings.  Twaddle-free books will be interesting to all ages.  We always encouraged our children to do something with their hands while listening, whenever possible, (drawing, handwork, etc.), which often could be counted as school, as well.  I love doing two things at once, especially crossing off two school subjects for the day when no one knows they're doing even one!


We still read as a family, and my children are now 25 and 21.  A side benefit: Even though my husband didn't start out liking to read (his family didn't read growing up), he became a lover of books through our reading together over the years. He now asks for gift cards to cbd.com and Amazon.com at Christmas and birthdays in order to buy books, and keeps a running list of titles he wants to buy. Our reading started out being for Homeschooling, but reading aloud at night was a way to include Dad in our schooling.


Now, he is oftentimes the one suggesting in the evening, "Why don't we read together." This causes me to be on the lookout for great books which will "change our lives" for the better. Then when he wants to start a new book, we have excellent choices on hand!  Everyone in our family is an extremely avid reader. Trained, not born that way.

Families Are Too Crazy Busy!

And speaking of busyness...
After yesterday's post entitled, "Slow Down This Summer," you're really going to think I've gotten up on my soapbox today.  But, I do think families are way too busy these days.  Don't you agree?


Lest you think I'm advocating slothfulness, please read this (one of my earlier posts), entitled "Work is Not a 4-letter Word."  I really don't think it's good old-fashioned work which is keeping most families too busy these days.  No, it's ...well:
Programs.  Lessons.  Appointments.
Friends.  Practices.  Part-time Jobs.
Games.  Errands.  Parties and Plays.
To name a few.


"Ode to The Busy Family"
(We Have Too Many Choices,
Though Some Should Be No-brainers):
Wrestling, Racquetball, Gymnastics and Ballet
Basketball, Baseball, Softball, and Pair-Skating?
Football,  Soccer, Volleyball and Hockey,
I haven't listed half the sports, and yet there's way too many!


Swimming, Diving, Track and Field, and Tennis,
It's impossible to list them all, I'm sure that I will miss.
Judo, Karate, dare I mention Yoga, too:
Is there really nothing that the Christian Homeschooler won't do?


If one instrument is good, then three must be better!
Clarinet, Trumpet, Flute and Alto Sax,
Banjo, Mandolin, Guitar, and Ukelele!
Piano, Violin, Cello, Bass and French Horn
Don't forget the drums--you can drive your mom crazy!


I'm writing this to the Homeschooling Mom, but it starts way earlier than school-age!  You set your children up to expect a certain rhythm in life from a very young age.


Do you feel like you're spending your life behind the wheel of your vehicle?  Or maybe getting in and out of it!  Does your baby or toddler usually nap in his/her carseat?  Do the drive-through employees at your favorite fast-food restaurant greet you like an old friend and call you by name?  Do you wonder why they call it Homeschooling? As a Homeschool mom, have you mastered the art of "School on the Road"?  Are you tired of it all yet?


Beware:

• Of commitments to more than one night a week for children up until junior high and even after that.
• Of commitments which are individual and split your family up, making you, your husband, and your children all go in different directions.
• Of anything that keeps you from sitting down together for supper.

You don't need it.  The family is being destroyed.  By good things.  Say "No."  Make Hard Choices.


Now, what will you do with all that TIME you'll now have at Home Together?!


Helpful Hints
Learn skills:  Build something, repair, make or refinish.
Paint, upkeep your home, design and put in Landscaping

Work Together as a Family

Hobbies that Create Something Useful:
Cooking, Sewing, Knitting, and Crocheting
Making Greeting Cards, Handwork and Gardening


Games That Involve, or can be played by, all ages (And/or Teach):
Mini golf, Croquet, Badminton, Bowling


Board Games that Involve, or can be played by, all ages:
Monopoly, Game of Life, Parcheesi, Uno, Sorry, Chutes and Ladders, Yahtzee


Trend Games:
Matching game
States and Capitals


Outside Group Games:
Bocce Ball, Flashlight Tag


Activities:
Biking, Walking


Say "No" to a lot of "good things" and get to know your family again.  Get to know your Lord again.  Find out what He wants your family to be doing.  Don't sacrifice the "best" on the altar of "good."

P.S.  Rereading my post this morning, I realize that it is incomplete, in the sense that I included not a word from The Word.  Also, to some of you, it may sound terribly out of touch, and "anti-sports"--well, I am pretty much against sports, especially team sports, as I think they've robbed families and not given them very much back.  But, I do see a need for less "ranting" on my part, and more "real instruction," so I will try to give a more Biblical answer to this issue some time in the near future.

Activities for Children: Timely Tips on Tuesday

One Week Ago!

This photo was taken one week ago today!  Much of the snow has melted this past week, and today it was in the 40's, however, March traditionally is the month for the most snowfall in Minnesota, so it may look this way again before long!


With all the snow and crazy weather around the country (and world) this year, there may be many of you moms who, with your children, are feeling "cooped-up."  Do I hear "cabin fever" anyone?


Here are some ideas which may help your children enjoy their time indoors:

• Let them build a blanket fort (an out-of-the-way corner, over a folding table, card table or larger), or over a bed in a spare bedroom all work well, because you can leave it up without it causing problems. You can secure the blanket(s) to dressers or higher furniture, or even something in the closet.  Let them take some toys inside, and play to their hearts' content!
• Play "Store"!  Let them choose less popular canned goods from your pantry shelves and set them up to "buy and sell."  They can take turns being the clerk and customer.  They'll enjoy bagging, marking, and older children can even write out amounts in a small notebook and write out receipts!  This could even count for Math! In our home, this fun indoor activity occupied my children for hours (and sometimes days).
• Get some new and fun library books, educational videos, or CDs.  Some libraries have animal puppets available for check out. Encourage them to put on a puppet show.  Perhaps a Bible Story acted out?  (Don't forget your camcorder!)
• Bake something fun together and let them help.  Make a memory!  Peanut Butter Cookies with only 3 ingredients can be made by even the youngest cooks and take only 1/2 an hour start to finish!  Ingredients: 1 cup P.B., 1 cup sugar, and 1 egg.  Flatten with a fork crisscrossing or the bottom of a glass dipped in sugar. Optional: Add a chocolate kiss in the center. Bake at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes.  (I still remember flattening cookies with a glass for my mom when I was VERY small.)
• Get out that toy or activity that you're always saying "sometime" they can play with.
• Have a "Toy Exchange" with a friend, and allow your children to "check out" a new toy for a few days.  (Clearly explain that it's like a library book that they can't keep.) 
• Watch the birds or squirrels or animal life outside and read a book about it!  Cut out pictures from magazines or color pictures of your own of animals that you see.  Make some bird feed--find out what the birds in your backyard like!  Put an orange out or some bread crusts or crumbs, and see what happens.
• On another line of thinking:  work more intently on training your kids to help with a chore, such as laundry--folding, matching socks, carrying them to the right bedroom; sorting, and how to use the washing machine, etc.
• Practice washing dishes or dusting:  let little ones stand on a chair, and practice washing the plastic bowls and plates, cups and spoons.  What child doesn't like playing in soapy water?  They'll think this is so fun!  Don't be too worried about the mess--just have fun, Mom!  Teach another child to dry the dishes.  Give them a rag that you've prepared and let them help you dust.  Teach them, and show them how.  Even the littlest can do this with an unprepared rag.  They'll get a little dust up and feel like they're Helping!

A quote for the day:

"The happiness of life
is made up of minute fractions--

the little soon forgotten charities of a kiss or smile,

a kind look, a heartfelt compliment,

and the countless infinitesimals of

pleasurable and genial feeling."

by Samuel Taylor Coleridge ("The Improvisatore")

Found in a lovely children's book of poems and sayings called,

"The Springs of Joy," by Tasha Tudor.

When you have much time indoors, there's also much valuable time for bonding and training!  Look at it as an opportunity, and thank the Lord for your home and children--and husband!  Winter's almost over, right?

Children's Book Recommendations For When You're Cooped-Up

We've had a huge snow storm again!  It makes me want to curl up and read some good books to some little ones!  Do you know the best way to make your child a great Reader?  By reading aloud to them!  Here are 6 fun Children's Books for little children and beginning readers!

Books To Read

Snowballs, by Lois Ehlert

This author is a fairly recent discovery of mine who's become a fast favorite!  Ehlert, who lives next door to my state, in Wisconsin, writes the most creative books!  This one starts out, "Do you think birds know when it's going to snow?"  The pictures are a visual feast!  Her books, always colorful, seem 3-dimensional, using lots of ordinary objects to provide "texture" on the pages--you'll reach out to touch them!

In "Snowballs," ideas abound for using common household objects and foods to "decorate" snowmen, such as popcorn (kernels and popped), colorful shoelaces to make hair on "snow mom," and, a knitted bag on a string filled with peanuts in the shell to put around her neck!  A seashell for a nose and coffee beans for eyes! 

There's a whole family of snow people! The "snow boy" has nuts (as in nuts and bolts) for eyes and two big wheels that are off of a toy truck for ears. All of these snow people are shown as indoor projects, with the bodies made out of large circles of white paper, which of course is a great idea when you can't go outdoors (and you don't have this book to read yet)!


Everything used to decorate the snow people is pictured and labeled in the back of the book. Some of the creative ideas are:  a foil candy wrapper wadded up, a colorful plastic fork, a luggage tag, a coffee bean, a ribbon, sunflower seeds, a cinnamon stick, a pinecone, and kernels of corn. They'll inspire you to create your own very special snow person! This is such a fun book to read--your kids will love it, and you will, too! Included in the back is an explanation of what makes it snow, and photos of real snowmen that are very cute.

Eloise Wilkin's poems to read to the very young, selected by Josette Frank

You'll be able to find this in the GRRLibrary system, if you're in my area (www.griver.org) or check your library.  This is a sweet book that your children will be memorizing poems from without trying!

Examples of the poems you'll find inside this book:

"Thaw," by Eunice Tietjens:

"The snow is soft, and how it squashes!

'Galumph, galumph!' go my galoshes."

"Jump or Jiggle," by Evelyn Beyer:

(This has no commas or periods, but I will put them in so you can read it!)

"Frogs jump, Caterpillars hump.

Worms wiggle, Bugs jiggle.

Rabbits hop, Horses clop.

Snakes slide, Sea gulls glide.

Mice creep, Deer leap.

Puppies bounce, Kittens pounce.

Lions stalk--But--I walk!"

"High-Heeled Shoes," by Kate Cox Goddard:

"I like to wear my Mommie's shoes.

I mean the pairs she doesn't use.

I pick the ones with highest heels,

You can't imagine how it feels

To walk around, go out the door,

Clump-clumping all across the floor."  

We own this book illustrated by Dagmar Wilson, whose illustrations are cute, but Eloise Wilkin's illustrations are very, very favorites of mine--darling--and you can get this version from the library!

We Help Daddy,
A Golden Book, by Eloise Wilkin

We own this book, but I couldn't find it in our library system, though there are other Wilkin favorites, such as the "Goodnight Book" and "Baby's Christmas," but maybe you'll be able to find it in yours, or at a thrift store.  This is a fabulous book, not only to read to small children, but because it also teaches Mom and Dad the many ways that little ones can learn to work, and be helpful!

Benjy and Sue, who appear to be around 5 and 3, help Daddy all day as he does yardwork and fixes things around the house.  
The story is told from the perspective of 3-year-old Sue. This is such a charming book, with sweet illustrations--find it if you can.

A Bag Full of Pups, by Dick Gackenbach
This is a cute story about a man whose dog has 12 puppies and what happens when he goes to the city and yells, "Free Puppies!"   This story isn't in our library system, (we own this book), but many other titles by this author are there, as well as other stories illustrated by him.

"What Is That?" Said the Cat, by Grace Maccarone

This is a Level 1 Reader, so has lots of rhyming and white space on the pages, and is good for a beginning reader.  A book about a box that has something inside which animals, one by one, try to open, and when they do, they are Very Surprised by what's inside!  In my library system, (check it out in yours) you can find a whole list of Level 1 Readers (go to www.griver.org, the Great River Regional Library System, and search for "Hello Reader! Level 1." I haven't read this book yet, but it sounded cute, from the reviews.  There were many other Level 1 books to choose from.


A Bug, A Bear, and a Boy Paint a Picture

by David McPhail
I love the Bug, A Bear and a Boy books.  You can sometimes find them at Goodwill, and other thrift stores.  In my library system, you can find one or two.  Our Scholastic copy of this one is a small, thin paperback.  The illustrations are very precious.  With 8 pages and a sentence or 2 on each, it's a quick read, but the illustrations are wonderful, and the sentiments sweet.  A cuddle-up and read kind of book.
I hope you'll take time to read some great books to your children today!

What I Am Doing Now

I decided to post one of those "What I Am Doing Now" posts, but with a twist.  For me, January is a month that's a mix.  First, we live in Minnesota, so it can be gray and very cold, and I used to get somewhat depressed during January, being all cooped up, and not seeing the sun.  But I have realized in recent years that January is one of two months in the year--the other is July--when I have almost nothing on my calendar, and if I don't recognize that and use the month well, I've missed a golden opportunity! 


I now look at January as though I'm sitting at the top of the roller coaster of the year.  I'm about to go down and things are going to pick up speed rapidly!!  So, in January, at the top, I try to look ahead and see into the distance, and prepare.  Having to stay at home has its advantages:  it saves a lot of money on gas! And, you can get a lot done when you stay home.  Here are some of the things I'm preparing for, and questions I'm asking myself to try to be on top of things when spring comes!

• Figure out Baby gifts--I know of about half a dozen babies being born in the next few months, so I'll be on the lookout for sales on baby clothes, both boys and girls, and stock up my gift shelf. I usually choose 12 months or older. I also love to give great children's books, which I already have on hand.
• Graduation and wedding gifts and cards--there are always quite a few of these.  I have already stocked up on wedding gifts by ordering from Mikasa's online clearance site, when they had free shipping, and I got some really nice things for great prices.  So, now for grad cards and gifts. 

Will I make cards by hand, by computer, or buy them? I do have stamps, but I recently purchased a year's membership to American Greetings, so I can make printable cards.  It's really cool, because I can edit the cards, change the font, add pictures, personalize the card, and even rewrite some of the writing inside, if I want to!  Lots of things you can print, like invitations, too.  With a box of parchment paper, and a box of greeting card sized envelopes, which I already have, I'm set.  So, I'll probably do that.
Will I give money (much easier) or find something inexpensive, but special, that will actually be cheaper and more personal than cash? I'll keep my eyes open online.

• Packing away all the Christmas decorations

(Yes, I'm still doing that--I like to leave them up, except for the tree, way into January, because I love them! and they add color to my home), I'm trying to see if there are areas that need decluttering, or maybe it's easier to see and clean an area now--like the cloth on top of the piano and the valance over the window--because I've removed everything.

• Cleaning and DeCluttering

That Kitchen Pantry cupboard needs to be cleaned out once a year--maybe now?
Clear off the top of my cupboards and clean what's up there? Nothing attractive about an inch of dust!

• Year-end Financial and Budget

Put a new checkbook register in my checkbook, and print out all the statements to have in one place.
Finish checking off in the checkbook all the checks that have cleared, and look for any discrepancies. My husband takes care of the finances, but he has me pay the bills, and carry the checkbook.  He took care of all the financial over Christmas vacation, but I just like every box checked and to have a feeling that I kind of am on top of things:)

• Make a Record of Expenditures in a Spreadsheet

Become more responsible with my spending, and start a spreadsheet to record daily spending, especially in certain areas, where discretionary spending, though within acceptable limits, could be less.
Though we studied it in school with the kids, Kelsey never had to really do her own budget herself, so I'm having her make a spreadsheet, too, to keep track of spending and probably a budget later.
My husband doesn't like to keep track of every penny in areas such as spending on clothes--I'm not a big spender in this area, so he doesn't feel he needs to--but I really think it would be good to know just how much I am spending.  This is difficult to track, because it gets lumped in with so many other purchases on the credit card, and our kids buy much, if not all, of their own clothes.  So, I made a spreadsheet with this and other categories where I think we could cut some spending, and I will try to figure it out.  Could I save money in this or any other area?

• Thinking about my spending habits

One of the things about good habits is that you don't have to keep track of what you're doing as carefully! You just do the same thing as you've been doing, and you stay within budget.  However, checking to see if I could do better is something I have a little more time to do in January.

• Hospitality

Are there people that we've promised we'd have over, and haven't yet?  Call them, and set up a time.

• Books I Meant to Read?

Are there books that I wanted to read and didn't get to?  I really like to fuel my faith at this time of the year.  It helps to stave off the depression and discouragement from the weather and lack of sun.  I picked up an old book that I'd read before and that God really used in my life a few years ago, "Echoing and ReEchoing" by Faye Huntington, and have started reading it again when I have a few minutes.  She co-authored many books with Isabella Alden ("Pansy"), whose writing I love, but this is a book she wrote by herself. 


You can get other great reading for wintery months, or summertime reading, for that matter, at the Keepers of the Faith website (it's .com, not .net, or you'll get something totally different!) and then click on books.  Check out their site for all kinds of activities, and teaching skills kits, etc., to complement your family's homeschooling.
So, that's what I'm doing now.  I hope you're not too bored by my list!


So......what do you do when the weather forces you inside for awhile?

Love That Louisville Slugger Museum and "Old Louisville"

Ted Williams

At first I wasn't sure if I would like a museum dedicated to baseball bats:)
But the tour, and the information on how professional baseball bats are made, was fascinating, and the museum was very fun!  I highly recommend it,
especially for those who are avid baseball fans.

"Babe" Ruth's Baseball Bat

"Babe" made a notch for each homerun he hit

Dane with the bat of Mickey Mantle

Ken Griffey, Jr. and me

Babe

A real slugger.

WOW! THAT'S A BAT!

It weighs 68,000 lbs (it's made of steel) and is 120 feet tall! It is an exact replica of Babe Ruth's 34" bat.

The Architecture in the area is amazing!

After touring the museum
we drove through
"Old Louisville"

The largest contiguous area in
the United States
of Restored Victorian Homes.
"Old Louisville is a National Preservation District, the third largest in the nation,
and the largest Victorian district in the United States."

(For a description of architectural styles, go here.)

Walking tours

Leaving Louisville

One more architectural wonder

A very fun and interesting morning, and well worth the stop, if you're ever in the area!