Timely Tips on Tuesday: What in the World is a Woman to Wear?

The subject of modesty will never grow old, or be answered for all time.  Why? Because it is a spiritual battleground. Men and women are drawn away of their own lusts, but they are tempted by the dress of others.  This is true in the Christian community, as well as in the world.  That is a sad commentary, but true.  Today, I am linking back to an excellent article on the subject of Modesty on the site "At the Well". It is found under the category of "Woman to Woman", which is a section devoted to older Titus 2 women teaching the younger. (The first section of the article was written June 5, 2009, by Andrea Parlinak, with another section following immediately, which was written by another author. I recommend reading both.) 
The Bible has so much to say about the subject of modesty, that it is amazing that many Christians have not given it much thought.  They dress according to their tastes and preferences, and what appeals to their eyes, their flesh and what they think will attract the opposite sex. Does this remind anyone else besides me of the verses in 1 John 2?
¹⁵ Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. ¹⁶ For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. ¹⁷ And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever. 1 John 2:15-17

Also, in Proverbs 7:10 it says there is a certain way of dressing that is the "attire of a harlot"

 ⁹In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night:
 ¹⁰And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart.
 ¹¹(She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house).
If there is "the  attire of an harlot", it would naturally follow that we study to not look that way!
But you say, "I don't dress that way!!"  Are you absolutely positive?  What is our dress communicating to men? (I speak to us, as women) Ladies?  Do you know for sure that you are not causing a "brother" to stumble, by provoking his thoughts to lust? (At the end of this article, I am including a survey which our church did of the older boys and men on what caused them problems in a girl's or woman's dress--I think it is very helpful.)

No, it is not only his problem.  I must act in love, and not cause another to stumble, using my liberty as a cloak of maliciousness, 1 Peter 2:16, (using my freedom to harm someone else). 

The sex of a person should be shown in how they dress.  But it goes further than that:
"The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God." Deuteronomy 22:5
I have chosen to wear dresses or skirts all the time, since the Lord convicted me about my way of dressing, through this verse, and other verses and articles.  One reason is that I want to associate with, and identify with, the design that God created me to have: God made me a woman.  I am grateful for that. I want to be fully a woman. I want to look like a woman.  I want to act like a woman. I find it easier to act, sit and move modestly, and act more "ladylike", when wearing a longer skirt. You can do everything that a woman should do wearing a long skirt (in the "olden days" they had to).  I think people treat me more like a woman, and many (even strangers) have voiced their appreciation verbally for the way I dress. It honestly took me a while to figure out and change my wardrobe, and I still have to constantly think about this subject when buying new articles of clothing, and in my thoughts and actions. Please don't think that I think I have "arrived".

Another fact that I think is interesting is: What is the symbol that identifies women worldwide? A little drawing of a stick figure wearing a skirt.  Everyone around the world knows that is the symbol of a woman. That is what you look for when trying to decide which room is the women's room. From a distance, a person has no trouble identifying me as a woman, because I wear a skirt.  If you haven't turned me off yet, I hasten to add that wearing dresses makes me no better, or worse, than anyone else. It's not something that will get me into heaven, or keep me out.  Related to the subject of modesty, until about a hundred years ago, women wore skirts, but that doesn't mean they were always modest.  It goes much deeper than that. I do not tell you to wear dresses, unless the Lord does, and I am not saying that you are sinning if you wear pants.  I am not on any campaign to get women to wear dresses.  What I am doing is urging you to study this subject, and know why you wear what you wear, and that it is pleasing to the Lord. Modesty, like everything else, is a heart issue.



I encourage you to, please, read these interesting and thought-provoking articles, and do a study of Scripture, and decide prayerfully, talking and praying with your husband if you're married, about what you should wear.

Here are some books I recommend to you as you study this subject:

Christian Modesty and the Public Undressing of America, (really thought-provoking historical look at clothing) by Jeff Pollard

What in the World Should I Wear,
by Cathy Corle   Here's a link:
What in the World Should I Wear


"Unless the Lord" magazine:
Article on Modesty
(I didn't read this one at this time.)

Please read this Excellent Article(!) entitled "Modesty in Appearance" by Arlo Moehlenpah

Modesty Survey

55 Responses

Answer to question:  "What is an eye-catcher for you, what do you consider immodest,

what can cause you to have lustful thoughts?"

• Tight shirt, skirt, or pants that reveal the form of the body parts = 42
• Low-cut tops/dresses/blouses that reveal the bust or draw your eyes down = 37
• Short skirts (knee or above) = 20
• High slits in skirts/dresses = 8
• Sheer fabric, see-through material = 6
• Too much makeup = 4
• High heels = 2
• Hair hanging in front of face/unkempt hair = 2
• Lettering on front of shirts = 2

Resources to Ignite the Fire of Your Faith

Do you want to be more passionate about Christ?  Do you feel you've lapsed into complacency?  Do you wonder if you're making a difference in the world for Christ?  There's a new book coming out, by the Harris twins, Brett and Alex, called "Start Here: Doing Hard Things Right Where You Are", scheduled for release March 16, 2010. If you haven't heard of "Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations", their earlier book, I recommend it to you.  That book and these two young men started a revolution against complacency, irresponsibility and rebellion in youth, and of passion for Christ, and they (coincidentally) call it, The Rebelution. (click on the link to go to their blog: disclaimer--I don't subscribe to everything they say and do. I believe that they will challenge you, especially young people, to a closer walk with God. But, Dear friends: As I give recommendations, I try to know that what I'm recommending is good for you, but each of us is ultimately responsible to be discerning and check everything against the Word of God to make sure that it lines up.  I hope that you will do that with everything that you see here.)

Today, I'd like to share some Resources with you that my 20-year-old daughter, Kelsey, loves, and we recommend, that will challenge you to be more passionate about your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Have you ever heard Mark Cahill speak, or have you seen him on YouTube?  Now, *there* is a man with a passionate message that will change your life!  Kelsey had a neat idea: she wanted to do something special for her birthday, (her 19th)--so she invited about 10 girls over to watch Mark Cahill's "Lukewarm No More" message.  Of course, there was the usual laughter, food, fun picture-taking and girl-talk mixed into the evening.  They also played a game using random pictures (found online), such as a man playing a trumpet in the middle of a park, or a woman mountain-climbing.  Each girl had to pick one, and, with 5 minutes to prepare, share a Bible verse, an analogy or a testimony relating to the picture they chose.  They spent some time in prayer, as well. She challenged them to get more serious, as a group, and as individuals, about their faith.  "One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven" has really inspired her to take her faith in Christ much more seriously, and to be passionate about sharing the gospel. His example of witnessing is phenomenal.


You *will* be challenged.











For the last few years, Kelsey's been raving about Paul Washer!  She has listened to countless of his messages on the internet.  Now, we're starting to hear others rave about him, too.  His messages are direct, boldly Biblical, and passionate. And not what you are used to hearing. (Called "Shocking"!  The first message Kelsey ever heard by Paul Washer was the highly discussed YouTube/Tangle video "Shocking Youth Message," which has now been watched by hundreds of thousands of people.  Are you sure you're saved?  Don't be fooled.)  I really recommend watching him.  He's so on fire!  You'll find a link to some of his messages further down on my blog on the right. He'll really make you examine your heart and ask hard questions. How obedient am I and how much do I really love Christ--where's the proof in my life?

 ...and Francis Chan.
We don't know a lot about him, but we've listened to some of his messages, and we're finding out about him. What I've heard him say has been very Biblical.  Kelsey's favorite thing about Francis Chan is that he is so in awe of God and he sees God's Fingerprints in even the trivial things in life--his passion and zeal are contagious. 
I have to say I was impressed, when I read that he gives 90% of his income away as well as all his royalties from the sale of his books.   (bookshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_Chan)
One thing is for sure, he challenges your way of thinking about your life. From 2 minutes of listening this week, this was my challenge from the Lord: Where is your home? Is it here? or is it in Heaven? Are you so aware that Jesus is coming back and so looking forward to His return, that you think, "Would I want to be here doing this if He came back right now?"

We've gotten complacent. Let's start here,  rekindle the fire in our hearts for the Lord, and not be afraid, no matter how old we are, to do hard things for Him.
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Christmas In A Box: An Opportunity to Give Some Christmas Joy To Our Veterans

   Today our friend, Jeanie Mendenhall, fulfilled a dream.  Last Christmas our little 20-year-old redheaded friend determined to help make Christmas a little brighter this year for some.  Today, Jeanie brought joy to the lives of 18 people at the Saint Cloud Veterans Hospital Retirement Home, as she brought them "Christmas in a Box."  Each box that she delivered was filled with a miniature Christmas tree, decorations, small gifts, and a Christmas book with a CD.  In addition, Jeanie brought helpers and musicians to bless the veterans. She brought her family (Kerry, Breezy, and Doug--Dad was working), and some friends (Ryan, Linnea, Stephen, Peter and Michael) along with her, and together they sang carols and played their violins.
     "I wanted to find a way to give back a little for all that they have given for us," she said of those who have fought for our country.  To see the faces of those who received "Christmas In A Box" today, I think she accomplished her goal.

By the way, WCCO-TV's 6 o'clock news broadcast featured Jeanie! 

Click here to watch:

  "Christmas In A Box"     

If you would like to learn more about "Christmas in a Box" or

make a donation to help Jeanie give out more boxes,

contact her at Christmasinabox@gmail.com or

 visit http://www.christmasinabox.wordpress.com/

Voddie and Jasmine Baucham's blogs

     Something surprising happened today.  At first I wasn't sure whether to be proud or embarrassed.  My 20-year-old daughter, Kelsey, has been following Voddie Baucham's daughter Jasmine's blog, Joyfully at Home, and really enjoying it!  Jasmine encourages girls in their role of being a Daughter at Home, in preparation for being a wife and mother, and a Keeper at Home, as it says in Titus 2.  She, together with her dad, appeared on the video "Return of the Daughters," a really excellent DVD helping girls to gain a clear and Biblical vision for their lives while still at home and as it relates to their relationship with their fathers specifically. It was here that we first heard of Jasmine.
     Yesterday, her father, Voddie Baucham, started a new Regular Feature on his blog of, once a month, sharing one of Jasmine's blogposts.  I follow Mr. Baucham's blog, but didn't get around to reading it yesterday.  Today, I was home alone, not feeling particularly well, not even well enough to check on my blog, which you know says something!  But I thought I would check out what Mr. Baucham had to say.  I really appreciate his wisdom, his boldness, and frankly I'm a little intimidated by him (I've never actually met the man, but he's so revered in our circle, and quoted, and if he writes something, everybody's reading it, and if he's speaking somewhere, everyone wants to go and hear him.  So, he's kind of...Famous in my circle)  Anyways, Kelsey has been telling us wonderful things about his daughter's blog, and I have noticed that she will make a point of reading Jasmine's blog, even if it is a busy day, and it's late, and that she is so engaged in her reading, and sometimes I'd hear her laughing delightedly while reading.  So, I noted that the post by Jasmine's father said, "Daddy's Little Girl" and I thought it would be about his daughter, Jasmine, who I was looking forward to reading about.  So, I guess it was kind of a shock when I scrolled down the page of Mr. Baucham's blog and read my daughter's name, Kelsey.
     The title read, "A Reply to Kelsey's Question." You know that feeling when you just know, without having to be told, that it's not just any Kelsey--it's my Kelsey. Kelsey didn't tell me that she had been commenting on Jasmine's blog--she thought that she would ask a question and get an email reply back. So, she was surprised, as well.  My first reaction was, "My daughter's on Voddie Baucham's blog!"  At first I was shocked and well, a little proud...like maybe when someone important notices you in a crowd and smiles at you or talks to you.  Without reading any more, I clicked on Kelsey's question from yesterday just to make sure it was really her.  Reading the question was a little humbling.

     Then, I began to read all the comments, and it was so amazing, because they were talking to us! and some of the comments made me cry, they were so right to the heart of the matter, and there was wonderful counsel for Kelsey. And the insights touched my heart deeply. What a blessing!  If you go to Voddie Baucham's blog, Truth in Love, you can read Jasmine's reply and also click on the link there to go to her blog, (or click above on "Kelsey's question from yesterday").  I appreciate so much the comments.  The discussion, I hope, many will find beneficial.  I encourage you to read Jasmine and Voddie Baucham's other posts on their blogs--these father and daughter's blogs are very different, naturally, but I highly recommend each of them.
     A note to Jasmine: I want to thank you for your blog and the maturity and wisdom with which you write, well beyond your years.  Your thoughts are very Biblical and well-articulated, and in the case of Kelsey's question, I want to thank you especially, and your readers, for your caring, wise and thoughtful comments and advice to Kelsey.  All the comments were amazingly helpful and insightful.  I shed a few tears, especially when reading Amber, Elizabeth and your (Jasmine's) words.
     Thank you so much, Jasmine, for the time and thought that you put into answering my daughter's question.  We've read and discussed not only your answer, but all the comments and they have been extremely helpful. Thank you to each person who took the time to post a comment and for the thoughtful and wise counsel that was given.  I know that our good relationship will only be better for it!  I am grateful for a daughter who loves the Lord so much, serves her family and the Lord with all her heart, seeks to grow in her relationships, and is not afraid to ask hard questions and humbly seek counsel from Godly sources.